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-   -   Hey pussy, this viper will kill you! (http://www.the370z.com/other-vehicles/115136-hey-pussy-viper-will-kill-you.html)

ChaseZ 07-07-2016 10:22 AM

Hey pussy, this viper will kill you!
 
The most honest for sale ad ever! :p
https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media...s7jcxawuvy.jpg

Okay. Full disclosure. I almost killed myself in it.

It is VERY powerful. Extremely, EXTREMELY fast.

I’ve driven Ferrari’s that don’t feel as crazy as this thing. I am frankly afraid of it now.
That’s right. It’s in my garage and I’m afraid to drive it because it’s like a crazy steroid bull that wants to kill me.
I’ve done 130 mph on a Ducati while laughing into the face of death. The viper is a completely different bowl of crack. The engine sounds like 40 pit bulls eating kittens while lifting weights.
I cannot truly explain it’s power. It has whiplash acceleration in 3rd gear at 50mph. That sentence doesn’t even make sense. But it’s true.
That’s why I’m telling you. I will not have your soul on my conscience.
You need to know what you are getting into. What insane level of crazy you are buying.
Can you resist the urge to mash down the accelerator? Can you? Because it’s like owning your own demon. A demon that wants to kill you. We all know one person that for the right amount of money would kill you. But since no one is paying, they smile in your face and go about their day.
It’s like that except the Viper doesn’t bother to ever pretend it doesn’t want to kill you.
And it will do it for free.

Some brilliant engineer designed a beautiful sexy bulging body, fantastic suspension, great handling, aerodynamics, and all American style. While he was out on his lunch break, some demented maniac dropped 100 times more engine power than necessary into it and sent it out the door. It’s mentally unbalanced.

Look,
If you are the type of person that can be talked into having one more drink at midnight when you have a very important presentation or interview early the next morning, then the Viper is not for you.

The whole car is constantly whispering sweet lies to you.
“You got this”.
“Open me up and ride free, you got this”
“What are you a pussy?”
“Just do it”, “Do it”, “you got this”.

Do not do it. You don’t got it. You ARE in fact a pussy. And as we all know, pussy is mad good. But not that good.
You will sit on the curb and settle your heart after it tries to kill you the first time.
You will get back inside and it will immediately get back to the business of trying to get you to let it murder you.
“You got this. This time you know. That last time was just a fluke. You ain’t no pussy”.

Repeat after me.
You
Don’t
Got
This.

But for $30k you can look the devil in the eye and take this ride.

You were warned.

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media...onxdhbdfuj.jpg

https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media...lhwril31zz.jpg

cv129 07-07-2016 11:36 AM

What Ferrari was the owner comparing this to? A 308? Lol

Firebase99 07-07-2016 11:54 AM

Hilarious!!! I want to have a beer with this guy!!

ChaseZ 07-07-2016 12:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cv129 (Post 3511956)
What Ferrari was the owner comparing this to? A 308? Lol

Couple weeks back a 348 GTS wanted to play follow the leader. Poor guy didn't stand a chance.

madeinjapan 07-07-2016 12:52 PM

this is one of those cars that ive always wanted but when it came time to pull the trigger that money would get spent elsewhere

i mean you know what i mean

SwissCheese 07-07-2016 09:30 PM

The Viper has always been my dream car. The "icon", a gen 2, GTS, blue with white stripes. Oh man.

I've seriously rolled around the thought of selling my Z and getting one, but the gen 2's are getting to be 15+ years old!

cigarclifford 07-07-2016 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SwissCheese (Post 3512396)
The Viper has always been my dream car. The "icon", a gen 2, GTS, blue with white stripes. Oh man.

I've seriously rolled around the thought of selling my Z and getting one, but the gen 2's are getting to be 15+ years old!

:iagree: I always liked the Viper GTS edition a well thought out sports car for its time indeed..

-Clifford :tiphat:

Slartibartfas 07-07-2016 11:31 PM

My father's '96 RT/10 accelerates harder in 4th gear than my Miata in first.

1LIFE 07-07-2016 11:49 PM

All that about a 15 year old stock Viper?!?! Lol

Rusty 07-10-2016 09:10 PM

Is that a stock motored Viper? Wait until you drive one with 800hp at the wheels. :eek: Just seen a Blue with black stripe '17 ACR at a dealership in Carlisle Pa. today. :yum: Been serious thinking about trading in the Nismo for a '17 ACR. :yum::yum::yum:

cv129 07-10-2016 10:50 PM

^ok let's form a line for dips on Rusty's part out :)

Rusty 07-10-2016 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cv129 (Post 3514511)
^ok let's form a line for dips on Rusty's part out :)

If I sell the motorhome. I could buy a 488 GTB. BUT the wife AIN'T going to let that happen. :shakes head:


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