RicerX's 2016 Nissan Maxima Review
 

A few weeks ago, I drove a 2016 Nissan Maxima similar to this thing.

http://image.motortrend.com/f/wot/15...idnight-sr.jpg

It had an interior sort of like this:
http://blogs-images.forbes.com/kbrau...a-interior.jpg

Well... there's something about the Maxima. Nissan calls it a 4DSC, which is a thirty-year-old acronym for "4 Door Sports Car". Nissan doesn't want you to forget that it is a 4DSC. One way they ensured this would happen is by making the car have ALL OF THE 4DSC everywhere.

A 4DSC shifter:
http://japanesenostalgiccar.com/word...er-640x427.jpg

A 4DSC light:
http://japanesenostalgiccar.com/word...SC-640x427.jpg

Another 4DSC light:
http://japanesenostalgiccar.com/word...ht-640x427.jpg

And yet another 4DSC light to match the other one:
http://image.automobilemag.com/f/129...badge-4dsc.jpg

Wait... this isn't a 4DSC engine though...
http://www.automotiveaddicts.com/wp-...ima-engine.jpg

And there's not a single goddamn 4DSC button to be found.
http://www.automotiveaddicts.com/wp-...ent-system.jpg

Thank god it has 4DSC eyes that look like they're ready to steal the soul of the nearest Camry at night.
http://www.nissanusa.com/mobile/cars...e-lighting.jpg

But it has sort of a 4DSC mode, but instead, it's called sport. Instead of something cool like "4DSC POWER ACTIVATE" or "ALL FOUR DOORS ENGAGE SPORT".

http://mydealehost.com/digitalservic...-dashboard.jpg

So I used the sport mode and tried to engage the 4DSC powers.

To my surprise, everything I knew about sports cars was wrong. Like when I pressed the gas and the front wheels chirped. Or when it was time for the transmission to shift BUT IT DIDN'T. Or when I turned into a corner and tried to throttle out of it, but instead BRAKES WERE ACTIVATED BY THE GAS PEDAL using some feature called "Active Trace Control", or ATC, but should have been called something like "4 Door Safety Control" or "Driving at age 15 with my Driver's Ed instructor in the car".

This 4 Door Sports Car was also very quiet inside, except when you turned on the music. For some reason, THE STEREO PLAYS ENGINE SOUNDS GUYS. You don't get to cruise down the highway listening to Katy Perry while wearing your skinny jeans. Instead, you hear what is supposedly "Active Sound Enhancement", which is another misnomer in my honest opinion, because I would have gone with "4 Door Sounds of Cars" or "This is what it's like to be inside of a Prius".

This 4 Door Sports Car was also very roomy inside. The center console's cupholders could hold up to 6 keys to real sports cars that you could use once you're done your Costco trip. The trunk could fit half of a set of wheels and tires for your actual sports car, but I don't know why you'd put them there.

This 4 Door Sports Car had a revamped interior that was designed with the help of fighter jet pilots. FIGHTER JET PILOTS. YOU GUYS.

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Blotter/...0516_wmain.jpg
Pictured: A ******* fighter jet. Somewhere inside this lies inspiration for a commuter car.

Instead of keeping things cost effective and grabbing a couple of the lead designers for the GT-R for this ENTIRE PROJECT, they grabbed JET FIGHTER PILOTS... for the INTERIOR ONLY. The GT-R guys were apparently all booked up. This is kind of like hiring the guy that organizes the Apple iPhone events to consult the planning of your biggest annual frat party, but only letting him help you with seating. "Guys, we have the sorority girls and the beer covered."

We could have had a ******* afterburner on this Maxima, complete with two nuclear payloads for people that text and drive and cut me off on the way to Target. Instead, we have a bunch of meaningless acronyms and a GPS that is angled toward the driver by 7 degrees.

I am disappoint.

This was very good, bravo!

Fantastic review :roflpuke2:

I am surprised how the fighter jet pilots managed to design such a roomy interior. I guess its probably the main thing they bitch about at their day job :icon17:

That front shot looks like a blue meanie on acid!

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/...dL._SY355_.jpg

All sports car use CVT. At least they got the trans right. **** Nissan until they get rid of that garbage.


On a serious note though, I had one as a rental and thought they nailed the interior. Very nice and plush in my opinion

its a car for 50yr old males dat just couldn't afford a real sedan.

CVT and electronic nannies = SPORTS CAR

The Maxima used to be a nice sporty 4-door that was really fun to drive. I used to love driving my wife's on long trips. Even though it was an automatic, it handled nicely and it wasn't afraid to be in the right gear.

It's official, guys, Nissan has forgotten their roots. :shakes head:

5th gen maxima was the last sporty Maxima imo.

Although if this car had the 7at or even the old 5at, I'd consider it. Makes a perfect daily.

:icon18:

LMAO... Hilarious review and a true perception for your average gearhead.:tiphat:

I want to go test drive one just so I can ask WTF is up with "4DSC" everywhere on the car.

The review made me laugh. I have a 5th gen, and dont have much love for the 7th/8th gens...

3rd gens were really the last 4dsc, and 5th gens featured the last resemblance of anything sporty those cars had. 6th gen was horrid..

And I just got a Z, so now I'm on the 2dsc side of things, proper like it should be.

Sent from my SM-G860P using Tapatalk

I recognize you from Maxima.org, don't let lightonthehill over there see this lol:icon17:. He thinks the 7th and 8th gen are the best things god created...lol. I agree the Max lost all its sporting credibility after the 03 5.5 gen.:iagree:

I just hope the new Z does not look as cartoonish as this new Max and Murano, especially since the 370 and 7th gen Max shared styling cues (wide fender flares, head light style, similar dash, steering wheel, similar rims on both Sport models, etc etc).