Today's Story!
 

Dear friends,

I would like to share with you a sequence of events that happened to me today, partially to vent and partially to make some humor out of it.

So I took today off from work and decided to take the girl (the Z) for a drive in the morning. The birds are chirping, the girls are in short skirts, the car is clean. I approach the highway ramp to get on the 287 and the usual course of action is to accelerate and feel the Gs. A few meters before the ramp a brilliant individual realizes that he also needs to bee the 287! Well hot damn, since he clearly owns the road he pulls onto the highway (barely avoiding to hit the divider himself) right in front of me! I knew that I had three options:

A) Hit him hard and hope that he goes to the hospitals so I can visit him there to finish the job and kill him with my two own hands.

B) Change the gravitational constant of the universe, assigning it a negative number to it so we can both repel each other and float in the air.

C) Break as hard as I can and pull away and hope to avoid an accident.

I decided to go with C. I break hard and pull away. I manage to avoid him but my front right tire hits the curb. The car bounces back like a rubber ball and I scream (not unlike a little girl) NooOoOoOoOoOoOoOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I actually startled myself. In the meanwhile I hunk my horn and the guy in front of me, he puts his hand through his sunroof of his SUV and waves at me! What the **** is that?!

At this point I have no idea how bad the wheel is... My beautiful sports package wheels... I find the first place I can pull over and I check the wheel. I have some scratches on the edges, not horrible, but the scratches on my heart will never heal. I take it to the place that did my clear bra installation and he tells me he can fix it completely for $150 bucks.

At this point I am beginning to calm down and I find this deserted curvy road to play around with the handling of the car. I begin this very exciting drive and a few minutes later, TWO squirrels one on each side of the road run TOWARD each other in the middle of the road. They reach each other, somehow scare each other (what the ****!) and one of them runs back and the other sees my car and just STOPS. I have already hit the breaks and slowing down pretty much as hard as I can. He just sits there on his legs with his stupid hands in the air looking at me. I reach him as about 10 mph and THUMP! I hit him! Oh lord! I gone and kill' a squirrel! I think to myself he looked depressed and was probably suicidal anyway, plus, I am helping evolution, one squirrel at a time. Then I see the little bastard run out from under the car! UN-FUCKIN-BELIEVABLE! Then this titanium-alloy rodent runs back into the field.

At this point, I decide to go back home. I pull out of this road and I see this gas station that has a pretty good price on their 93 octane fuel and I pull in to get some gas. I hand the employee my card and I say "Please fill it up with premium." And I hand him my credit card. I see him pushing some buttons and I hear the gas being pumped. Then I happen to look and see that he is pumping regular gas in the car! What the ****! I jump out of the car and I tell him "I asked for premium!" and I stop the pump. Do you know what he tells me?

"We are out of premium because we didn't receive delivery. You can't tell the difference in power and you will save some money."

At this point I have no patience, so I yell at him "ARE YOU ON CRACK?!" I begin to explain to him WHY it is important to not to put lower octane fuel in the car, but half way through my explanation his puzzled look makes me realize that I am wasting time. I ask him to charge my card and give my card back.

So now I have a scratched rim, squirrel palm prints on my bumper, 5 gallons of regular gas in my tank and 5 years of lost life-span. I should have just gone to work.

I take the car home and go for a walk.

FML.

Sorry to hear man. We all have crap days.

In the first and last situation you should have killed those people and then dumped the bodies in the Hudson River. No one would notice, and it's an easy fix; you could have even used the guy's SUV to haul the bodies over to the water. Better luck tomorrow!

:shakes head: my god this beautiful day has just died

omg that squirrel story is awesome :roflpuke2:

just standing there with its hands raised.

maybe he loved the car and wanted to hug it? :roflpuke2:

I hit a cat once. at 30ish. stupid thing just jumped infront and just looked at me.

he flew out of the back and somehow walks away like nothing happened.

I knew cats were tough but daaamn :roflpuke2:

That may have been one of the best stories I've read on this forum. Thanks for sharing! Isn't it the truth that when you're just being a nice guy, one thing after another happens? Uff! I really did laugh hard at my desk. We've all been there.

Rep for you for my favorite story ever on here.

That is the day from hell right there. Worst I got is 1 month after I bought my brand new 08 GTI, I was getting out of my car holding something in my hand. Anyway, I instinctively bend over and grab it before it falls to the ground, in the process, my blackberry case holder that I had on my waist hit my car in the worst possible way.

Basically the ONLY METAL PART of the case hit the door and proceeded to carve a 1 and a half inch gash into it. Everyday for the next 15 months of ownership(until I got my Z!) I would stare at it and it at me, as if mocking me in some way. It may sound like I'm overacting but I don't care.

And what was so important that I could not let drop to the ground? A piece of paper. It wasn't even anything important. :(

So, I basically got rid of the scratch by getting a new car, let someone else deal with it. :)

I am glad that you enjoyed it. :tiphat:

I hope the weekend would be better! :icon14:

I've heard of babe magnets... but squirrel magnets...wow the Z has it all,I'm betting it was a gurl squirrel.

Well look at it this way... you may have had a bad day away from work, but at least you were in the Z on a beautiful day. Other people are at work and dreaming of driving their Z...like me.

Thanks for a hilarious read!! :tup:

hahahahaha, man, i'm sorry all that stuff happened to you, but it made for one helluva read. highly entertaining! hopefully the rest of your weekend goes better!

It's Holy Week. Perhaps it's a signal for you to go to church! Kidding. :)

sucks about the car, but at least it's not worse. I can't imagine paying someone to pump my gas.

I know, I don't enjoy it. But here in NJ, we must!
:ugh2:

yeah, that's one thing i noticed the first time i went to jersey was that attendants fill up the gas. my friend told me its the law. do they have that for safety reasons? don't trust the average human to pump their own gas?

I am not exactly sure why myself. I think it may be a union law, but I could be wrong. I actually kinda like pumping the gas myself.