On a serious note, handle the relationship issues however you see appropriate. Just keep going smoke-free. It's not easy, and you're doing fantastic.

So yeah we are getting together this friday to have a face to face talk. I can't do the txts, emails, or phone conversations anymore. I need to be able to read her eyes and body language to understand her true intentions and desires. I need to approach this from an analytical pov and keep my emotions to myself for now. I'm going to come up with some talking points to guide the conversation but I plan on doing very little talking and mostly just listening. I feel a little better now that I am the one in the driver's seat, where we end up though is still to be determined. I know its a good sign that she has agreed to meet me in person because she has to know that my questions will not be easy to answer.

yep all freakin stressed out again, haven't had this bad of a craving for a smoke since day 1 and day 7. Figured I try to write something down on here in hopes I'll be able to get through the next 3-5 mins. Supposedly thats how long cravings last but with an addict it seems like an eternity. oh look its been about 30 seconds now lol. I just noticed my rep power took a huge leap from yesterday to today. yesterday I only had 2 green boxes and rep was at 2. now its at 6 with like 11 green boxes. kinda weird but okay. Well supposedly this time next week I should have my last two wheels in so I guess I should get on ordering some tires about now. yep here I come tire rack.

Keep it going man. Just think about those sexy wheels and it should help keep your mind off smoking :tup:

well today is day 14 and I haven't slipped yet, managed to occupy myself last night long enough to get through that moment. Kinda weird, sort of felt like it came out of no where. Felt pretty good putting on the last patch in the box this morning, I'm still just as dedicated to this as I was when I set my quit date. Thanks everyone for the support again, being able to just vent on here on occassion has been a big help!

Keep it up!!

Do not let not using the patch any longer be an issue... its mind over matter at this point. Good Luck meeting with the ex later too. The "talking points" made me lol, and just so you know, men are NEVER in control :rolleyes:

Each box has two weeks of patches, If I stick to their plan I still have 8 more weeks of wearing the patch. I was considering cutting two weeks off but randomly and what seems out of nowhere I get really strong cravings but they are becoming less intense and much less frequent with time.

I have no idea what to expect tonight. All I know is I fell in love with who she showed me while we were together and then all of a sudden this new person appeared. I know that old person is a big portion of who she is but the question is will I love who she really is. Who knows whats going to happen, for all I know she might chicken out and be a no show or find some other excuse to not show. This whole situation is so f*cked I don't know why I'm even giving her the time of day, never in my wildest dreams would I have thought my life would be so similar to a freakin soap opera. :icon14:

Today is going to be a long day...

Well?!?!?!?!?

Glad you are sticking with the no smoking thing.

May want to be careful they are canceling all the soap opera TV shows

Still not smoking still going strong on that front!

To no surprise of my own this person flaked out on me. I've realized that this person's behavior and actions were causing me to become someone that I am not and do things I would never do in normal circumstances. I'm upset with this person but its what ever at this point, I'm more mad at myself for letting myself be dragged this deep into this situation and for this long. Its clear now to me more than ever before that my behavior was a result of this person's selfishness and its not me with the issues its her. I feel really foolish now for posting all this non sense on here but I really just don't care anymore. It is what it is.

Props on making it this far. I think the first two weeks are the hardest, bot mentally and physically. It doesn't go away after, but it gets a lot easier.

Not to worry most if not all of us have been down that road before...

oh yeah and I definitely realize that. It just seems different when you are actually the one in it neck deep, but the reality is exactly how you stated it. Guess its better to be late to the party than to never show up right?

Plus, strippers. /argument

jk :icon17:

You gonna give him the special Shado dance? :roflpuke2: