How do you fill up the gas tank?

[falconfixer]

I did a search and nothing came up but my question is how do you guys go about filling the gas tank up?

The background for this question arises from my meaningful time on the shitter as I contemplate how to get my fat *** in and out of the car to, I wish someone would show me how to drive an automatic to, is it safe to drive at high rates of speed with no tires (I'll still have rims).

So, do you guys spit on the gas nozzle first and slide it in? Jam a finger down the gashole digging for some kind of vapor to lube it up prior to filling up? Gingerly place the tip of the nozzle in while coaxing the rear quarter? Something new and exciting I've never heard of?