Over 30 and still single, post here.

saber

this thread is crowded today.

__________________

魂の中にある一条の光を信じて

Haboob

And that's a bad thing?

DIGItonium

Haha... well my mistake about this place tonight. I've only been there once. It's really a bar. It's Thirsty Thursday so this place gets pretty packed with no room to sit around. I'm bound to run into some friends, and possibly meeting with others. Keep you guys posted.

BTW, although she tells me she likes texting with me we really don't text all that much. Maybe once or twice especially once I figured her responses can take awhile or she doesn't respond. Last night at the table she actually checked the MMS I sent her. O_o

__________________

XiP

Good luck!

__________________
I <3 Frost!!!

DIGItonium

Shook hands with a random dude speaking gibberish. A few minutes later several bouncers kicked him out. I'm on my 3rd beer. Getting sleepy. Earlier she said she was sleepy so no guarantee. My friends with left to another bar or went to hookah bar.

No surprise. I'm out of the house chilling at least Haha.

__________________

Cmike2780

I feel for you bro. Hookah bar would have been perfect place to take her. Usually pretty quiet.

Did you get to talk to her at least? ...like an actual conversation?

Also, try not to text. I know it's the norm these days, but it's lazy and you make up all these crazy scenarios in your head when she doesn't text you back. Just call her (but not right after a date, lol). It's instant feedback.

__________________

[09][MB][6-Spd MT][Touring][Stillen Gen III][K&N][Borla CBE][Evo-R]

DIGItonium

She ended up staying home to sleep (works 7 days a week). So far it's just texts since her phone is messed up after getting the screen replaced. She has to get on speaker phone to chat. Coincidentally, I end up learning how to pace myself with texts.

To be honest, she's just like any typical girl I've met. The difference is hanging out versus having a date. I've hung out with several girls the past few months, and it was easy breezy without expectations. With this one, as part of my 2014 resolution, I decided to put in some effort.

Funny thought. We talked about the day we first met when my dad introduced us at her work place. She was making coffee for us. When she rang us up I gave her a $20, but she punched in $10. We both had a brain fart when she tried to recalculate the change. The more she asked, the more I forgot how to do simple math (a disgrace to engineers). We chuckled.

Anyhow, my nerves are finally getting calm after the 1st date. So from here on out I'll pace myself and keep a mental note of all your advices. Thanks again, and I'll keep you all posted.

Wish we can all get together and I'd buy you all pitchers of beer.

__________________

Misnomer

DIGI, it sounds like you have the right attitude! Keep giving us updates...

Dude, what kind of crappy movies do you go to? Any decent movie is able to be discussed afterwards. I'm not saying you go see Frozen or Fast 6, but pick a movie with an actual plot and it shouldn't be hard to exchange opinions about it afterwards. They key here is that the movie is a conversation starter, not what you're relying on for the entire dinner/coffee date. If I'm on a first date with a guy and he can't come up with a single thing to say about the movie we just saw, there won't be a second date.

I meant reactions during the conversation about the movie, not someone's reactions during the actual movie-watching, but I see how my wording there sucked. (d'oh!)

BS. If you pick the restaurant and offer to let her pick the activity and the woman thinks that makes you weak/unorganized, she's not worth your time.

More BS. Your fiancée is 26: before you met her, did you ever date anyone older than you? Or even anyone over 30? (I'm not saying that every female over 30 is a woman, but nearly all females under 30 are still just girls.) Trust me, the mindsets of girls and women are VERY different.

saber

Hey, I actually enjoyed watching frozen with my date...and she really liked it too lol.

Then again, I also fall into the classic thinking of 'no movies for first dates'. I think it's weird, if you're going out for the first time shouldn't you...you know, TALK a lot?

__________________

魂の中にある一条の光を信じて

Misnomer

I'm not saying Frozen isn't a great movie, just that it might not be the best conversation fodder for two people who don't know each other yet.

Why does a first date have to be ALL talking? Why can't there be both talking and entertainment? First dates are about getting to know each other, but that can happen whether you're talking or not. Do you laugh at the same lines? Does she cry way too easily, or text during the movie? Does he leave his trash on the floor? Etc. It's not that you're studying the other person or critiquing them the whole time or anything, it's just that little things like that can tell you just as much about someone -- and your level of compatibility with them -- as their words.

I'm clearly in the minority here, but I think a movie + dinner/coffee/drinks (movie first!) is a perfectly good first date. I also think that a show + dinner/coffee/drinks is a great first date, and you aren't talking during those, either.

saber

I agree there should be talking and entertainment! But I would think something more interactive would be more fun and constructive.

__________________

魂の中にある一条の光を信じて

Misnomer

I'm just saying not necessarily. But I can agree to disagree.

Cmike2780

Do you honestly think two or more hours of complete silence in the dark is a good start to a first date? It doesn't matter what movie you go to, crappy or otherwise. It's a boring discussion after both having just seen it. It's a terrible conversation starter, even at dinner. I'm not saying the guy should or shouldn't have stuff to say about a movie he just saw, I'm saying watching a movie on the first date shouldn't be done, period! If you want to talk about movies on a date, that's totally fine. Talk about the ones you've seen in the past or one you want to see in the future. Not the one you both just saw an hour ago.

I'm not saying she shouldn't speak up, I'm saying the entire date should be somewhat planned. I'm all for spontaneity, but not having a plan lessens your odds of landing a second date. Which of these dates would you rather be on:

A) A date with a guy who picks you up at your place, reserved a nice restaurant for dinner, bought tickets to a play/musical/art exhibit/whatever followed by drinks or coffee. Ends it with a walk or quiet place where you both get to talk to one another.

B) A date with a guy who says...... " I dunno, where do you wanna go for dinner?" " I dunno, where do you wanna go after?" " I dunno, where do you wanna go now?"

Going to the movies, dinner and then having you decide where to go next isn't exactly a memorable romantic date for most women. I dunno, maybe I'm setting the standard too high, but I guess I'm a romantic at heart. If I really like someone, I'm gonna make an effort and that includes a good first impression.

Oh boy...Can't touch these without being mean.....Lets agree to disagree. I'm not making this about you, so please refrain from making this about me.

__________________

[09][MB][6-Spd MT][Touring][Stillen Gen III][K&N][Borla CBE][Evo-R]

saber

Is there such a thing as an overplanned date? I typically waffle on setting things up, like I would have a dinner place set up but then figure out the rest spontaneously (although I have some options in mind). Hence yesterday we ate then just randomly watched a movie because it was right there and she wanted to watch something.

I only noticed there was a basketball game that looked interesting later this month so I'm basically planning a day out piece by piece...but is that overkill?

__________________

魂の中にある一条の光を信じて

Misnomer

Yes. Do you honestly have to ask me that at this point in the thread? It's clear that we don't agree on this point. I guess we'll never have a first date.

Go back to how this started: it was about offering to let the woman pick the activity, and you said that the guy should do all of the planning. We don't disagree about what you're saying now, just what you said then.

Except this bit isn't a matter of opinion. You've said that all girls and women think the same, and I'm a woman saying "Um, not quite/not always." There's nothing to "agree to disagree" about: your generality is incorrect.

"Making this about you/me"? You made it about you when you expressed your opinion, just like I made it about me by expressing mine. We are disagreeing with each other, therefore this is, in fact, about you and me.

Seriously, though, I'm sorry if you were offended by being asked how old your girlfriends have been. It seemed germane to our discussion. If you'd rather just end this part of the conversation, that's cool with me.

I'd say yes, but also that what you're talking about doesn't qualify. I'd say that "overplanned" would be a date that includes more than two elements: dinner and a movie, drinks and a ballgame, etc. Not that you need two or can't do more than two things, but if you've already planned two parts the rest of it (if there is a "rest of it") should be spontaneous.

Keep in mind, too, that there's a difference between a first/early date and a date with someone you've been seeing for a while, who might not care if you plan out an entire day.