Over 30 and still single, post here.

Joepro

Grilling is my forte, learn to grill veggies, it is easy, and some Italian dishes, homemade sauce is easier than people think, but seriously, crock pot meals are not only tasty but take no effort. Get one.

Im not quite at the 30 year old mark, got burnt a few years back so I said screw women, I like the single life, sure its lonely sometimes, but I have my Z, I have my guns, I have my freedom...PA is a horrible state for everything, after my Z is boosted I am moving south, and will get myself in better shape and hope to settle downish around 35 years old... Women hate me anyway, Im tallish and fat, what can I say, I love food, bu really a nice guy, Im the literal mean of nice guys finish last, unless Im racing a civic

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DIGItonium

Haha, man my bud's fiancee had several cute friends who went to school with her. Now all of them are either married or getting married in their early 20s. There's one left over that hangs out with her often. She's a bit cute and nice, but she would drive me nuts. She's frugal to the extreme. When I mean extreme I'm talking no A/C at her place. Supposedly gets paper towels from school and tears them to individual pieces. When we used it to wipe down some spilled beer, she reused it to continue wiping the table. Bottled water? Heated up from the kettle and re-used 1 gallon milk containers. I'm told she was raised that way. [shrugs]

A couple of weeks ago I hit up the Toyota dealership to redeem a scratch ticket to see if I can get a gas voucher to give it to someone in need. I ended up with a lottery ticket. Anyhow, I saw this cute Asian girl working there. So I asked the guy working there about her. He introduced us and said "This gentleman needs help, and he doesn't speak a word of English." She turned to me and spoke lots of Vietnamese. She asked if I saw any cars of interest, and I said "no." She asked me what I was looking at, and I replied "A person." She cracked up and we had a good talk. I drove the Accord and she thought I was trading it in, and I told her I didn't have any interest. Then I talked to her about lunch the next day, and she handed me her card and number. The next morning I called I got shot down hard. She didn't remember who I was, and when I said "lunch" she told me she wasn't working and that she was leaving town. She quickly hung up afterwards.

She spared me grief. My friends knew her, and said she was bad news anyhow. In fact, she's cousins with the girl who is a nurse. Small world. See thread below:
Anyone who dated a nurse with a busy schedule?

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Haboob

After all this, I'm just a flat out failure...

FML, oh well.

ElVee

There *is* some psychological stuff going on here that makes this somewhat true. But it's also not true half the time.

Sometimes you have to qualify this a bit: When having sex, females get bored fast with nice guys. You can be nice otherwise, but go wild at some point.

And don't be nice at the expense of behind honest. If someone is a jerk, say they're a jerk; don't nice it up. Just as an example.

Joepro

Pen pals?

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DIGItonium

Confidence, my friend. Practice it on girls that don't really matter to you. You just have to try your best to kick the habit of self doubt and negativity. It's okay. I'm not always in a happy mood either, but I try not so sulk alone at home unless I'm just too lazy to go anywhere.

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Joepro

Sometimes its too much like work, I get done at work, I am tired from all the BS I hear from people and employees, sometime I go to the park for a walk afterwards, then I am really tired, and I deal with people all day so being sleep deprived is a NO NO. The Z needs attention too!

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kenchan

naw, dont worry about that. everyone feels that they are a failure at some point in life. i felt this since the moment i was born.

ElVee

I'm introverted as well, and it's visible if you hang around me for any length of time. Social events need to be taken on *my* terms, and not sprung on me, otherwise I bristle and back away. Pair that with the fact that I detest casual conversations, makes me a bad person to just happen across and say, "how's the weather," to.

Once you know your limits, you can at least play to your strengths and work on your weaknesses. For me, it's initial eye contact and saying what's on my mind rather than being shy about it and just not saying much at all. My hardest part is simply the immediate icebreaker, but after that I'm good conversation and a good listener.

But it otherwise just takes practice to learn some lines and proper greetings. Sometimes it's all you can do to make yourself be approachable and let someone else make the first (technicall second) move. Give a smile and direct eye contact that stays longer than a quick glance, but shorter than an intense stare; maybe a nod of the head; you don't need to walk towards or face her, but make an attempt to square the shoulders towards her. If they respond with a smile, that's at least inviting some sort of comment, and not showing that they think you're a creep and hope you're just walking by.

Comment starters are best made about something you have in common. Maybe she's wearing something you genuinely like and you happen to know about it beyond that she looks sexy in it, like materials or labels or just the look in general. Worst case, you're both standing in the same physical area, so you do have that in common (grocery store vegetable aisle? movie ticket line? burger king? parking lot? bar with music playing?) Just try to not ask yes/no questions. And yes, that takes practice to think on your feet before you ask one.

Practice with people who aren't your type. Older ladies, women with rings, even guys. The pressure is clearly off, and they likely are fine with it.

I get the, "I don't care" deal. There are topics I don't care about, or conversations I don't care about. For those, you just have to steer it elsewhere, move on somewhere else, or just admit your ignorance or lack of exposure (not that you don't care, but that blank look of yours can be explained as just never having thought about it before). Ultimately, though, you're going to have to care about what they're saying and listen, so you can respond in kind. You might respond with a salutation and move on, but at least that's a positive interaction for both of you.

Lastly, not all comments and social interactions need to lead to deep conversation, especially if done in a place you frequent or you've seen someone else at a lot. A few hi's here and there and you can open up, "I've seen you around here a bunch, do you work near here..?"

Now I need some therapy...time to go get some groceries and say hi to 5 people as I do.

Chuck33079

What DIGI said.

What you're doing isn't working. Try something else.

It's very simple. It's not easy, but it's not complicated. Step one- be in places where there are women. If the places you frequent do not have women, go to different places. Step two- talk to them. You will get shut down. Many times. Oh well, it's a numbers game. The more you talk to, the better your odds.

Here's the question- why not go talk to every random chick that catches your eye? Most likely, nothing will come of it. Which is exactly the same as not talking to her at all. But at least you've got the chance. you lose nothing by trying. Otherwise, by not saying anything, you've captured all of the downside with none of the potential for success. They're just people, dude.

Or take the advice given earlier about how to online date successfully.

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Haboob

I agree with you, but for some people (like me) that is the hardest part. I can come up with what will seem to be a sea of excuses, but it is plain and simply not me (an introvert) to do something like that.

Have to "feel" people out before I can really open up.



As for every chick that catches my eye, I wouldn't know what to say to them after "Hello." Lol


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Zbrah

Location: Fee-niks, AZ
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Sir...with all due respect, the problem is you're trying to pick up girls a few generations later than your time. Stick to ladies your own age and I think you'd find more interesting things to carry on the conversation, like wwII, aarp, social security, catheters, dentures, great depression?

Haboob

That's true, and thanks for the advice. And usually, ice breakers aren't quite an issue, it's "Oh ****, what do I say afterwards?"


Usually it's easier if I'm with someone I know as well, like a friend brought them along - then I can just kind of jump in here and again, then the next time we all meet I can be more open. It's that feeling out situation, and I tend to do okay when it happens this way - I just haven't met anyone that I was attracted to or the like.

UNKNOWN_370

Dude... It's true all the time. And not just in sex. Being a pushover isn't going to help in life. Being a jerk isn't what I mean either... That's where being a good man comes in. Read what I wrote again.... But think about in a deeper sense than dating and sex. Think in terms of life situations.

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blackcherry20

have to have an open mind. After all , its only a date, or an evening. Go into anything like that with the intent to just have a fun evening, nothing more. No expectations. You never know. I met my husband on a blind date that I almost didnt go on

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