Civility vs anononymity

H2O_Doc · 10-24-2013, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kenchan

also some words not to use in a post are like "disagree", "incorrect", "wrong"

those label the previous poster as an idiot. no need to use judgemental words.

just use words like 'well in my case' or 'for me' or 'some of us think' even if you say the same thing. this way it sounds more like an opinion from another angle vs just labeling someone as being incompetent/wrong and you are correct.

I guess I disagree with this. We should be able to be direct if we are civil and considerate; in fact, it shows both a certain amount of maturity and respect for another's maturity to be frank and honest. Now, on matters of opinion I agree we shouldn't (or really can't) tell people they are wrong, but it is okay to say we disagree. There are those things, however, that are not a matter of opinion and are a matter of fact. If what someone says is flat out wrong (Lincoln signed the Constitution in Versailles), you can and should say "Paul, you're wrong, he signed it Manila." Nothing wrong with that.

Where I loath forum postings is where people take make ad hominem attacks. Keep the discussion to the matter at hand and leave characterization about the protagonist out of the discussion. There is also the matter of presenting opinion as fact, and treating matters of fact as opinions.

kenchan · 10-25-2013, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H2O_Doc

I guess I disagree with this. We should be able to be direct if we are civil and considerate; in fact, it shows both a certain amount of maturity and respect for another's maturity to be frank and honest. Now, on matters of opinion I agree we shouldn't (or really can't) tell people they are wrong, but it is okay to say we disagree. There are those things, however, that are not a matter of opinion and are a matter of fact. If what someone says is flat out wrong (Lincoln signed the Constitution in Versailles), you can and should say "Paul, you're wrong, he signed it Manila." Nothing wrong with that.

Where I loath forum postings is where people take make ad hominem attacks. Keep the discussion to the matter at hand and leave characterization about the protagonist out of the discussion. There is also the matter of presenting opinion as fact, and treating matters of fact as opinions.

you're WRONG.

how does that feel? not very good, whether you're right or wrong, still doesnt feel good to see that your post was stepped on. that's wat i mean.

that kind of behavior starts the flaming and trolling and meaninless back and forth. to have civil discussions you have to respect the other without slapping some label on their handle.

Chuck33079 · 10-25-2013, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kenchan

you're WRONG.

how does that feel? not very good, whether you're right or wrong, still doesnt feel good to see that your post was stepped on. that's wat i mean.

that kind of behavior starts the flaming and trolling and meaninless back and forth. to have civil discussions you have to respect the other without slapping some label on their handle.

I get what you're saying. If it's something that there is no right or wrong answer, you're correct in that we should make sure we don't phrase things in absolutes. But if you tell me the best kind of oil for my car is cold pressed olive oil, I'll tell you you're flat out 100% wrong.

kenchan · 10-25-2013, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079

I get what you're saying. If it's something that there is no right or wrong answer, you're correct in that we should make sure we don't phrase things in absolutes. But if you tell me the best kind of oil for my car is cold pressed olive oil, I'll tell you you're flat out 100% wrong.

or you can say...

interesting selection of oil. in my case, i use mobil1 silver cap $25 5qt jug at walmart.

H2O_Doc · 10-25-2013, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kenchan

you're WRONG.

how does that feel? not very good, whether you're right or wrong, still doesnt feel good to see that your post was stepped on. that's wat i mean.

that kind of behavior starts the flaming and trolling and meaninless back and forth. to have civil discussions you have to respect the other without slapping some label on their handle.

No. It doesn't feel bad. I work in policy and science circles and such things need to be said and heard. You're right that it can "ignite" flaming, but that is because people don't know how to have discussions like adults.

Wrong isn't necessarily a label, for some folks it is a state of being and for others it is a way of life.