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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse,
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07-29-2009, 03:29 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Base Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Al Manama, Bahrain
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Drives: 2005 Subi Legacy GT
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Best Come Back Line Ever
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In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night. On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated in a telephone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. 'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence . 'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin? 'He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said... 'A pumpkin? **** .... is it midnight already?' This was in the Washington Post...the title of the article was 'Best Come Back Line Ever.' |
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07-29-2009, 10:51 AM
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#5 (permalink) | |
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A True Z Fanatic
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Texas
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Quote:
 Have you ever seen Cinderella?
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theDreamer's Z // Fast Intentions // Uprev // GTM // HKS // TEIN theDreamer's Silvia // URAS // GREDDY Houston Zs // Facebook // Twitter // Instagram |
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07-29-2009, 01:36 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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I shake Caravans
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: north Dallas
Posts: 9,517
Drives: everyone crazy
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effing brilliant!
I am totally printing out this story and hanging it up in my cube for people to read while they are here! 
__________________
____________________ PROJECT DiaD - Sold but not forgotten! The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that in order to work the penis, the brain must remain whole. |
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