Dog vs. Cat Diary Entries

smurfblu13 · 07-15-2009, 03:09 AM

stole this from another forum, thought it was pretty funny so wanted to share...

Dog’s Diary:

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11: 00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Cat’s Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

370Z Purist · 07-15-2009, 03:25 AM

I recently read a study that showed cats are actually dumber than dogs in terms of learning capability and effective memory.

EDIT:

Oh, right:

CBRich · 07-15-2009, 07:23 PM

That is great. And a perfect description of my dog. Not much going on there.

batman_4 · 07-16-2009, 01:09 AM

i dislike cats. funny indeed

07-15-2009, 03:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
smurfblu13 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: PA Posts: 2,584 Drives: cars Rep Power: 380	Dog vs. Cat Diary Entries stole this from another forum, thought it was pretty funny so wanted to share... Dog’s Diary: 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing! 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 PM - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11: 00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! Cat’s Diary: Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

07-15-2009, 03:25 AM	#2 (permalink)
370Z Purist A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Zion, Illinois Posts: 1,873 Drives: '09 370Z-T BS M6 Rep Power: 19	I recently read a study that showed cats are actually dumber than dogs in terms of learning capability and effective memory. EDIT: Oh, right: __________________ -Phil "Since one of my brake light bulbs just went out, the forum told me that my piston rings are about to blow."

07-16-2009, 01:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
batman_4 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: McAllen Tx. Posts: 1,038 Drives: '09 PW 370Z Rep Power: 368	i dislike cats. funny indeed __________________ '09 6spd. Touring: Eibach / SPC / Motordyne / Berk / Z1 / Oneighty / Mines / SSR / Stillen / CFE

07-15-2009, 07:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
CBRich A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: SC Posts: 2,464 Drives: 370Z Rep Power: 544	That is great. And a perfect description of my dog. Not much going on there.