Joke of the Day

XwChriswX · 05-11-2010, 06:07 PM

So I was playing Uno last night with some mexicans... But the f*ckers kept stealing all the green cards, so I left.

Togo · 05-11-2010, 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XwChriswX

So I was playing Uno last night with some mexicans... But the f*ckers kept stealing all the green cards, so I left.

Hmm and where did you hear this joke I wonder... lol

Togo · 05-11-2010, 06:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Togo

Hmm and where did you hear this joke I wonder... lol

Wait... I just read this the other night? Did I actually tell it to you and John though? Can't remember now.. lol.

XwChriswX · 05-11-2010, 06:19 PM

I didn't hear it from either of you, and I told him lol So I dunno what your talking about.

Togo · 05-11-2010, 06:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XwChriswX

I didn't hear it from either of you, and I told him lol So I dunno what your talking about.

Csquared · 05-12-2010, 09:49 PM

Oh, I got one.

"Here is a story I want to share with you. During the time I was dating my wife her sister was constantly flirting with me. She was gorgeous but nothing more than harmless flirting came out of it. Eventually I proposed to my now wife and the day before our wedding her sister called me over to her house saying she had a gift for me. I asked her to bring it over or give it to me on the day of our wedding but she said that it was not possible and I had to go pick it up.

I arrived at her house and knocked, realized the door wasn’t locked and so I yelled into the house to see if she was around. She told me to go upstairs. I could hear music playing and the sweet scent of candles. I followed both of these till I reached the bed room and there she was on her bed, more beautiful then ever, telling me that it was the last chance before I got married and we should make something happen.

I turned around and walked back down the stairs and saw her father standing there with a Shotgun, he took me into his arms and said that his daughter is very lucky to have a great guy like me and that he told her younger daughter to see if I would be faithful.

The moral of the story?

Keep your condoms in your car.”

Togo · 05-13-2010, 04:36 PM

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.

That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."

He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"

She quickly replied, "M"!

semtex · 05-13-2010, 05:14 PM

Hope this isn't a repost.

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. She asked me to meet her upstairs in her bedroom for one last fling. I was stunned watching her walk up the stairs. I made a beeline straight to the front door and headed straight to my car! Lo and behold all my fiance's family were standing outside clapping, proud that I had passed their test. The moral of the story..... Always keep your condoms in the car!

phelan · 05-13-2010, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by semtex

Hope this isn't a repost.

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. She asked me to meet her upstairs in her bedroom for one last fling. I was stunned watching her walk up the stairs. I made a beeline straight to the front door and headed straight to my car! Lo and behold all my fiance's family were standing outside clapping, proud that I had passed their test. The moral of the story..... Always keep your condoms in the car!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Csquared

Oh, I got one.

"Here is a story I want to share with you. During the time I was dating my wife her sister was constantly flirting with me. She was gorgeous but nothing more than harmless flirting came out of it. Eventually I proposed to my now wife and the day before our wedding her sister called me over to her house saying she had a gift for me. I asked her to bring it over or give it to me on the day of our wedding but she said that it was not possible and I had to go pick it up.

I arrived at her house and knocked, realized the door wasn’t locked and so I yelled into the house to see if she was around. She told me to go upstairs. I could hear music playing and the sweet scent of candles. I followed both of these till I reached the bed room and there she was on her bed, more beautiful then ever, telling me that it was the last chance before I got married and we should make something happen.

I turned around and walked back down the stairs and saw her father standing there with a Shotgun, he took me into his arms and said that his daughter is very lucky to have a great guy like me and that he told her younger daughter to see if I would be faithful.

The moral of the story?

Keep your condoms in your car.”

...more than one way to skin a cat then O_o;

theDreamer · 05-13-2010, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by semtex

Hope this isn't a repost.

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. She asked me to meet her upstairs in her bedroom for one last fling. I was stunned watching her walk up the stairs. I made a beeline straight to the front door and headed straight to my car! Lo and behold all my fiance's family were standing outside clapping, proud that I had passed their test. The moral of the story..... Always keep your condoms in the car!

Two posts up.

Technically a different version, but same story in the end.

z370z · 05-13-2010, 05:25 PM

@ SEMTEX

lol that was just posted two above you

semtex · 05-13-2010, 05:25 PM

D'oh! I fail.

theDreamer · 05-13-2010, 05:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by semtex

D'oh! I fail.

Csquared · 05-13-2010, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by semtex

D'oh! I fail.

+ rep for having same type of Humor lol.

Togo · 05-14-2010, 03:18 PM

There is a blonde on one side of the river and a brunette on the other side.
The brunette yells to the blonde "How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The blonde replies "You are already on the other side!"

05-11-2010, 06:07 PM	#706 (permalink)
XwChriswX WFLYIDNNE Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In The Fastlane Posts: 50,648 Drives: 02 GDB WRX Rep Power: 452	So I was playing Uno last night with some mexicans... But the fckers kept stealing all the green cards, so I left. __________________ Bonnie - Stage 2, Audio build coming this fall!* R.I.P. Abby 3/29/10 - 3/30/14

05-11-2010, 06:19 PM	#709 (permalink)
XwChriswX WFLYIDNNE Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In The Fastlane Posts: 50,648 Drives: 02 GDB WRX Rep Power: 452	I didn't hear it from either of you, and I told him lol So I dunno what your talking about. __________________ Bonnie - Stage 2, Audio build coming this fall! R.I.P. Abby 3/29/10 - 3/30/14

05-13-2010, 04:36 PM	#712 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals. That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me." He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?" She quickly replied, "M"! __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

05-13-2010, 05:14 PM	#713 (permalink)
semtex A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Behind enemy lines Age: 54 Posts: 5,995 Drives: People to drink Rep Power: 32	Hope this isn't a repost. THE WEDDING TEST I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. She asked me to meet her upstairs in her bedroom for one last fling. I was stunned watching her walk up the stairs. I made a beeline straight to the front door and headed straight to my car! Lo and behold all my fiance's family were standing outside clapping, proud that I had passed their test. The moral of the story..... Always keep your condoms in the car! __________________ "There are no small accidents on this circuit." -- Ayrton Senna 316.8whp & 248 ft/lbs (Dyno Dynamics) \| 319whp & 256 ft/lbs (DynoJet) (04/23/10) Stillen G3 CAI, CBE, Pulley / F.I. LTH / GTSpec Ladder Brace / Setrab Oil Cooler / UpRev-tuned by Forged Perf.

05-13-2010, 05:25 PM	#717 (permalink)
semtex A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Behind enemy lines Age: 54 Posts: 5,995 Drives: People to drink Rep Power: 32	D'oh! I fail. __________________ "There are no small accidents on this circuit." -- Ayrton Senna 316.8whp & 248 ft/lbs (Dyno Dynamics) \| 319whp & 256 ft/lbs (DynoJet) (04/23/10) Stillen G3 CAI, CBE, Pulley / F.I. LTH / GTSpec Ladder Brace / Setrab Oil Cooler / UpRev-tuned by Forged Perf.

05-12-2010, 09:49 PM	#711 (permalink)
Csquared Enthusiast Member Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Hong Kong Posts: 302 Drives: 09 Nissan 370z Y 7sp Rep Power: 15	Oh, I got one. "Here is a story I want to share with you. During the time I was dating my wife her sister was constantly flirting with me. She was gorgeous but nothing more than harmless flirting came out of it. Eventually I proposed to my now wife and the day before our wedding her sister called me over to her house saying she had a gift for me. I asked her to bring it over or give it to me on the day of our wedding but she said that it was not possible and I had to go pick it up. I arrived at her house and knocked, realized the door wasn’t locked and so I yelled into the house to see if she was around. She told me to go upstairs. I could hear music playing and the sweet scent of candles. I followed both of these till I reached the bed room and there she was on her bed, more beautiful then ever, telling me that it was the last chance before I got married and we should make something happen. I turned around and walked back down the stairs and saw her father standing there with a Shotgun, he took me into his arms and said that his daughter is very lucky to have a great guy like me and that he told her younger daughter to see if I would be faithful. The moral of the story? Keep your condoms in your car.”

05-13-2010, 05:25 PM	#716 (permalink)
z370z Base Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Niagara Posts: 222 Drives: 09 370z 6M SPT/NAV Rep Power: 15	@ SEMTEX lol that was just posted two above you

05-14-2010, 03:18 PM	#720 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	There is a blonde on one side of the river and a brunette on the other side. The brunette yells to the blonde "How do I get to the other side of the river?" The blonde replies "You are already on the other side!" __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan