Joke of the Day

Togo · 09-30-2009, 04:33 PM

Bad pick up lines

I know there are a ton of these but I'm just putting up a few...

Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special?

My love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in.

Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out.

Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them.

If you and I were squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole.

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a lightswitch away.

Man - Fat Penguin!
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock.

I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.

This one is my personal favorite:

Man- Hey were you raised on a chicken farm?
Girl- No, why?
Man- Cause you sure are good at raising cocks!

TX_370 · 09-30-2009, 04:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Togo

Bad pick up lines

Man - Fat Penguin!
Woman - WHAT?
Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.

lol

Togo · 09-30-2009, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TX_370

lol

A similar one I know is

How much does a polar bear weigh?
IDK
Enough to break the ice.

I like the penguin one more though being that it's more random

XwChriswX · 09-30-2009, 04:53 PM

If you want something random you could always try...

You: Hello ma'am may I feel your bre*st?
Her: Uh no, WHY?!
You: Because ma'am, I work at the American Breast Cancer Research Society and I am tasked with doing research between the relation to bre*st firmness and Bre*st Cancer.
Her: And you need to feel MINE because...??
You: Because it's clinically proven that doing continuous self checks means you have a much higher chance of finding a lump before it becomes cancerous. I'm trying to see if it is easier to find a lump in softer bre*sts than firm ones due to the tightness of the muscle tissue which might hinder you from finding a lump.
Her: Wow, I never thought about it like that before... Ok, should we go to the bathroom?
You: Wherever you feel comfortable ma'am...

(Then In The Bathroom, during your 'exam')

Her: Uhhh... What's the camera for...??

<CLICK>

You: ...Run LOL

I know it has no real point, but this is how bored I am at work lol.

09-30-2009, 04:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
XwChriswX WFLYIDNNE Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In The Fastlane Posts: 50,648 Drives: 02 GDB WRX Rep Power: 452	If you want something random you could always try... You: Hello ma'am may I feel your brest? Her: Uh no, WHY?! You: Because ma'am, I work at the American Breast Cancer Research Society and I am tasked with doing research between the relation to brest firmness and Brest Cancer. Her: And you need to feel MINE* because...?? You: Because it's clinically proven that doing continuous self checks means you have a much higher chance of finding a lump before it becomes cancerous. I'm trying to see if it is easier to find a lump in softer brests than firm ones due to the tightness of the muscle tissue which might hinder you from finding a lump. Her: Wow, I never thought about it like that before... Ok, should we go to the bathroom? You: Wherever you feel comfortable ma'am... (Then In The Bathroom, during your 'exam') Her: Uhhh... What's the camera for...?? <CLICK> You: ...Run* LOL I know it has no real point, but this is how bored I am at work lol. __________________ Bonnie - Stage 2, Audio build coming this fall! R.I.P. Abby 3/29/10 - 3/30/14

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09-30-2009, 04:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Bad pick up lines I know there are a ton of these but I'm just putting up a few... Did you fart, cause you blew me away. Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special? My love for you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in. Do you have a library card, 'cause I'd like to sign you out. Is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them. If you and I were squirrels, I'd store my nuts in your hole. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a lightswitch away. Man - Fat Penguin! Woman - WHAT? Man - I just wanted to say something that would break the ice. I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed-rock. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room. Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner. If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon. This one is my personal favorite: Man- Hey were you raised on a chicken farm? Girl- No, why? Man- Cause you sure are good at raising cocks!