Joke of the Day

INSURANCE101 · 07-19-2009, 02:19 AM

mooore. GIVE US MOOOORE.

370Z Purist · 07-19-2009, 03:20 AM

Christ, these are great!
Where do you even get these?

I've seen and read a lot of jokes... but these are originals to me!

Togo · 07-19-2009, 10:24 AM

They came from a website that used to send out one joke a day to your email.

Togo · 07-19-2009, 10:51 AM

At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25-year-old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85-year-old groom ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Morris. Again, he is ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Morris is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more action. Once again they enjoy each other. But as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris."

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says, "You mean I was here already?"

Alzheimer's - it has its advantages.

Togo · 07-20-2009, 06:22 PM

I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. I chose the shortest line, just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated.

He asked the teller, "Why it change? Yestoday I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?"

The teller says, "Fluctuations."

The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too!"

Celcius · 07-20-2009, 07:08 PM

Oldy but a goodie. Why I fired my secretary.

Quote:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that
morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be
pleasant and say,
'Happy Birthday!',
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,
let alone
' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,
but the kids...
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word..
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
'Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday ! '
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me..'
I said, 'Thanks, Jane,
that's the greatest thing
I've heard all day.
Let's go !'

We went to lunch.
But we didn't go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead at a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, 'You know,
It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?'

I responded,
'I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?'
She said,
'Let's drop by my apartment,
it's just around the corner.'

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and
said,
' Boss, if you don't mind,
I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I'll be right back.'
'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch...

Naked.

Togo · 07-20-2009, 07:35 PM

hahahahhahah! thats great

Skorch · 07-21-2009, 03:11 AM

Got this one today from a friend:

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife.

Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.

After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact,

"Marion ... Marion "

"Is that you, Bob?"

"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."

"That's wonderful! What's it like?"

"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course ... I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"

"Oh, Bob you must be in Heaven!"

"Not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona ."

smurfblu13 · 07-21-2009, 03:24 AM

this one is great. def didn't see that coming

Togo · 07-21-2009, 05:10 PM

hhahaha I definitely didn't expect that!

+ Rep for that

Togo · 07-21-2009, 05:13 PM

A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."

The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me."

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what are they thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

Togo · 07-22-2009, 03:14 PM

A blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde gal in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks up to the convertible and asks the blonde for her driver's license. The blonde driver searches through her purse in vain.

Finally she asks, "What does it look like?"

The blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your picture on it."

The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it and sure enough sees herself. She hands the compact to the blonde cop.

After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver and says, "If you would have told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over, we could have avoided this whole thing."

Togo · 07-22-2009, 07:36 PM

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.

Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.

Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC...

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY...

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *** with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI..

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI...

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?

Judge # 3 - No Report

Togo · 07-22-2009, 07:41 PM

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont. Their first night there, she undressed as did he. There she stood, nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning."

He knew he was not getting lucky that night. The following night was the same. She stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom.

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

INSURANCE101 · 07-23-2009, 01:09 PM

Lol my deepest condolences

07-19-2009, 03:20 AM	#62 (permalink)
370Z Purist A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Zion, Illinois Posts: 1,873 Drives: '09 370Z-T BS M6 Rep Power: 19	Christ, these are great! Where do you even get these? I've seen and read a lot of jokes... but these are originals to me! __________________ -Phil "Since one of my brake light bulbs just went out, the forum told me that my piston rings are about to blow."

07-21-2009, 03:11 AM	#68 (permalink)
Skorch Enthusiast Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 469 Drives: 2012 370Z Rep Power: 540	Got this one today from a friend: A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact, "Marion ... Marion " "Is that you, Bob?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful! What's it like?" "Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course ... I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens) another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again. Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again" "Oh, Bob you must be in Heaven!" "Not exactly... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona ." __________________ '12 370Z + Sport \| Stillen Gen3 Intakes \| Stillen UD Pulley \| Motordyne M370 \| FI Exhaust \| FI HFCs \| 4.08 Gears \| Uprev tuned

07-19-2009, 02:19 AM	#61 (permalink)
INSURANCE101 Base Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: palm beach, FL Posts: 182 Drives: susp. dl untill sept Rep Power: 16	mooore. GIVE US MOOOORE.

07-19-2009, 10:24 AM	#63 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	They came from a website that used to send out one joke a day to your email.

07-19-2009, 10:51 AM	#64 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25-year-old. Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding, she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together. After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85-year-old groom ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep. After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Morris. Again, he is ready for more action. Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves. She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it - Morris is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more action. Once again they enjoy each other. But as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris." Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says, "You mean I was here already?" Alzheimer's - it has its advantages.

07-20-2009, 06:22 PM	#65 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange so I went to the currency exchange window at the local bank. I chose the shortest line, just one guy in front of me. He was an Asian guy who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and he was a little agitated. He asked the teller, "Why it change? Yestoday I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I get hunat eighty?" The teller says, "Fluctuations." The Asian guy says, "Fluc you white guys too!"

07-20-2009, 07:35 PM	#67 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	hahahahhahah! thats great

07-21-2009, 03:24 AM	#69 (permalink)
smurfblu13 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: PA Posts: 2,584 Drives: cars Rep Power: 380	this one is great. def didn't see that coming

07-21-2009, 05:10 PM	#70 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	hhahaha I definitely didn't expect that! + Rep for that

07-21-2009, 05:13 PM	#71 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	A biker was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish." The biker pulled over and said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want." The Lord said, "Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honor and glorify me." The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what are they thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy." The Lord replied, "You want that bridge with two lanes or four?"

07-22-2009, 03:14 PM	#72 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	A blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde gal in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks up to the convertible and asks the blonde for her driver's license. The blonde driver searches through her purse in vain. Finally she asks, "What does it look like?" The blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your picture on it." The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it and sure enough sees herself. She hands the compact to the blonde cop. After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver and says, "If you would have told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over, we could have avoided this whole thing."

07-22-2009, 07:36 PM	#73 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI... Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy **, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. CHILI # 2 - AUSTIN'S AFTERBURNER CHILI... Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CHILI # 3 - FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting -faced from all of the beer. CHILI # 4 - BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC... Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? CHILI # 5 LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks. CHILI # 6 - VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my * with a snow cone. CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI.. Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. poor feller, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 - No Report

07-22-2009, 07:41 PM	#74 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago. Her daughter was constantly calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her daughter immediately replied, "Mom! I have someone for you to meet." Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after dating for six weeks, he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont. Their first night there, she undressed as did he. There she stood, nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties; he was in his birthday suit. Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?" She replied: "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore, but down there I am still in mourning." He knew he was not getting lucky that night. The following night was the same. She stood there wearing the black panties, and he was in his birthday suit but now he was wearing a black condom. She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?" He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."

07-23-2009, 01:09 PM	#75 (permalink)
INSURANCE101 Base Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: palm beach, FL Posts: 182 Drives: susp. dl untill sept Rep Power: 16	Lol my deepest condolences