Nissan 370Z Forum  

Joke of the Day

A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.

Go Back   Nissan 370Z Forum > Nissan 370Z General Area > The Lounge (Off Topic)


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-23-2010, 02:59 PM   #736 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
Togo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: E. Northport, NY
Posts: 7,597
Drives: Stuff
Rep Power: 657
Togo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond repute
Default

A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.

After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities. "

"That's right," said the doctor.

He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I am doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps which might indicate breast cancer."

"Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

"Yes," she said, "You're getting HIV, which is why I came here In the first place."
__________________
This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan.

Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan
Togo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 03:00 PM   #737 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
Togo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: E. Northport, NY
Posts: 7,597
Drives: Stuff
Rep Power: 657
Togo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond repute
Default

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."
__________________
This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan.

Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan
Togo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 03:00 PM   #738 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
370zproject's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Memphis
Age: 35
Posts: 16,104
Drives: 09 A/T 370z blue
Rep Power: 53
370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Togo View Post
A beautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.

After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her, "Do you know what I am doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities. "

"That's right," said the doctor.

He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I am doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps which might indicate breast cancer."

"Correct," replied the shady doctor.

Finally, he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked, "Do you know what I am doing now?"

"Yes," she said, "You're getting HIV, which is why I came here In the first place."
__________________

Brake Upgrade Package ate blue, hawk hp ceramic pads, and slotted rotors
370zproject is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 03:04 PM   #739 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
370zproject's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Memphis
Age: 35
Posts: 16,104
Drives: 09 A/T 370z blue
Rep Power: 53
370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute
Default

also page 50
__________________

Brake Upgrade Package ate blue, hawk hp ceramic pads, and slotted rotors
370zproject is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 03:07 PM   #740 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
Togo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: E. Northport, NY
Posts: 7,597
Drives: Stuff
Rep Power: 657
Togo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 370zproject View Post
also page 50
Wow I didn't even realize i'm up to 50 pages in this thread... i've been slacking too...
__________________
This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan.

Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan
Togo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 03:15 PM   #741 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
370zproject's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Memphis
Age: 35
Posts: 16,104
Drives: 09 A/T 370z blue
Rep Power: 53
370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute370zproject has a reputation beyond repute
Default

haha slacker >.>
__________________

Brake Upgrade Package ate blue, hawk hp ceramic pads, and slotted rotors
370zproject is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 03:17 PM   #742 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
Togo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: E. Northport, NY
Posts: 7,597
Drives: Stuff
Rep Power: 657
Togo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by 370zproject View Post
haha slacker >.>
__________________
This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan.

Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan
Togo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 04:48 PM   #743 (permalink)
WFLYIDNNE
 
XwChriswX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: In The Fastlane
Posts: 50,648
Drives: 02 GDB WRX
Rep Power: 452
XwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond reputeXwChriswX has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Togo View Post
Get back to work!
__________________

Bonnie - Stage 2, Audio build coming this fall!
R.I.P. Abby 3/29/10 - 3/30/14
XwChriswX is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 07:55 PM   #744 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
Togo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: E. Northport, NY
Posts: 7,597
Drives: Stuff
Rep Power: 657
Togo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond reputeTogo has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by XwChriswX View Post
Get back to work!
I'm on vacation!
__________________
This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan.

Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan
Togo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 08:03 PM   #745 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
shadoquad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: .
Posts: 42,608
Drives: .
Rep Power: 3886
shadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond repute
Default

An old, lonely, pathetic man goes on vacation. (no offense, togo )

His plane crashes, but he manages to swim his way to a deserted island. After several weeks, he is walking along the beach one day and spots something glimmering in the distance, out on the water. As it grows closer and surfaces, it appears to be a gorgeous woman in a skin-tight wet suit.

She approaches with a wide smile and asks him, "When is the last time you had a proper cigar?" The old man replies, "It's been decades." The young woman unzips her suit slightly and pulls out a lighter and a fantastic cuban cigar.

He starts puffing at the cigar when she asks him, "When is the last time you had an ice-cold beer?" He says, "It's been years." She unzips her suit a little further and pulls him out an ice-cold beverage to enjoy with his smoke.

Then she approaches him very closely and zips her zipper nearly all the way down, and with a mischievous grin, she asks, "When's the last time you had some real fun?" The old man replies, "Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in that suit!"
shadoquad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 08:15 PM   #746 (permalink)
Track Member
 
Jesse_Hunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Denton,TX
Age: 38
Posts: 738
Drives: 07' Sky Redline
Rep Power: 365
Jesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Ah these jokes require alot of reading, I'll get straight to the point.


"Guy walks into a bar, Ouch That hurt."

"Horse walks into a bar, Bartender says: Why the long face?"

"What's brown and sticky? - A stick"

"What did one fruit say to the other fruit? - Sorry Honeydew, I cantelope"

"What'd one gay horse say to the other gay horse? - Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay"
Jesse_Hunter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 08:46 PM   #747 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
shadoquad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: .
Posts: 42,608
Drives: .
Rep Power: 3886
shadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond reputeshadoquad has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Here's a shorter one, for those of us who drive little tikes with blingin rims.

I hear they've found a solution to the oil leak in the gulf. They're going to put a wedding ring on it in hopes that it will stop putting out.

shadoquad is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2010, 08:57 PM   #748 (permalink)
Track Member
 
Jesse_Hunter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Denton,TX
Age: 38
Posts: 738
Drives: 07' Sky Redline
Rep Power: 365
Jesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond reputeJesse_Hunter has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shadoquad View Post
Here's a shorter one, for those of us who drive little tikes with blingin rims.

I hear they've found a solution to the oil leak in the gulf. They're going to put a wedding ring on it in hopes that it will stop putting out.


YES!
Jesse_Hunter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2010, 12:37 PM   #749 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
TX_370's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,389
Drives: American
Rep Power: 28
TX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by shadoquad View Post
Here's a shorter one, for those of us who drive little tikes with blingin rims.

I hear they've found a solution to the oil leak in the gulf. They're going to put a wedding ring on it in hopes that it will stop putting out.

__________________
2009 PW Nissan 370Z with Sports Package
TX_370 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2010, 12:37 PM   #750 (permalink)
A True Z Fanatic
 
TX_370's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 5,389
Drives: American
Rep Power: 28
TX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond reputeTX_370 has a reputation beyond repute
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Togo View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by 370zproject View Post
haha slacker >.>
Quote:
Originally Posted by Togo View Post
I'm on vacation!
Excuses!!!!
__________________
2009 PW Nissan 370Z with Sports Package
TX_370 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:23 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2