So I was playing Uno last night with some mexicans... But the f*ckers kept stealing all the green cards, so I left. :ugh2:

Hmm and where did you hear this joke I wonder... lol:bowrofl:

Wait... I just read this the other night? Did I actually tell it to you and John though? Can't remember now.. lol.

I didn't hear it from either of you, and I told him lol So I dunno what your talking about. :bowrofl:

:tup::bowrofl:

Oh, I got one.

"Here is a story I want to share with you. During the time I was dating my wife her sister was constantly flirting with me. She was gorgeous but nothing more than harmless flirting came out of it. Eventually I proposed to my now wife and the day before our wedding her sister called me over to her house saying she had a gift for me. I asked her to bring it over or give it to me on the day of our wedding but she said that it was not possible and I had to go pick it up.

I arrived at her house and knocked, realized the door wasn’t locked and so I yelled into the house to see if she was around. She told me to go upstairs. I could hear music playing and the sweet scent of candles. I followed both of these till I reached the bed room and there she was on her bed, more beautiful then ever, telling me that it was the last chance before I got married and we should make something happen.

I turned around and walked back down the stairs and saw her father standing there with a Shotgun, he took me into his arms and said that his daughter is very lucky to have a great guy like me and that he told her younger daughter to see if I would be faithful.

The moral of the story?

Keep your condoms in your car.”

There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke. One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb. She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.

That night when he got home he told his joke. She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."

He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"

She quickly replied, "M"!

Hope this isn't a repost.

THE WEDDING TEST

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me...it was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was 22, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. She asked me to meet her upstairs in her bedroom for one last fling. I was stunned watching her walk up the stairs. I made a beeline straight to the front door and headed straight to my car! Lo and behold all my fiance's family were standing outside clapping, proud that I had passed their test. The moral of the story..... Always keep your condoms in the car!

...more than one way to skin a cat then O_o;

Two posts up. :roflpuke2:
Technically a different version, but same story in the end.

@ SEMTEX

lol that was just posted two above you

D'oh! I fail. :facepalm:

:iagree:

+ rep for having same type of Humor lol.

There is a blonde on one side of the river and a brunette on the other side.
The brunette yells to the blonde "How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The blonde replies "You are already on the other side!"