Joke of the Day

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:12 PM

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:13 PM

"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:15 PM

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

XwChriswX · 11-13-2009, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Togo

He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

LoL

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:17 PM

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:18 PM

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have
one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

XwChriswX · 11-13-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Togo

A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and
said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have
one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

Yet again more proof women are evil lol

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:19 PM

A PRAYER....

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
And Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
AMEN

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:20 PM

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

phelan · 11-13-2009, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Togo

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

oh man, i could make such a religiously inappropriate comment for an answer to this one...

XwChriswX · 11-13-2009, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phelan

oh man, i could make such a religiously inappropriate comment for an answer to this one...

Do it!!!!

Togo · 11-13-2009, 06:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phelan

oh man, i could make such a religiously inappropriate comment for an answer to this one...

i'm already rofl'ing

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:20 PM

Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:21 PM

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Togo · 11-13-2009, 02:22 PM

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

11-13-2009, 02:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart. __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumor __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:18 PM	#6 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy! __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:19 PM	#8 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	A PRAYER.... Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:20 PM	#9 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Q: Why do little boys whine? A: They are practicing to be men. __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? A: Trustworthy __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:21 PM	#14 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

11-13-2009, 02:22 PM	#15 (permalink)
Togo A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: E. Northport, NY Posts: 7,597 Drives: Stuff Rep Power: 657	Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating? A: To stop the snoring before it starts. __________________ This will decimate all after you put about fifteen grand in it or more, and if we have to, overnight parts from Japan. Joe Clem and Koeppel Nissan

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