Joke of the Day

XwChriswX

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way..

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone..

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

__________________

Bonnie - Stage 2, Audio build coming this fall!
R.I.P. Abby 3/29/10 - 3/30/14

protoZ

its so true

Togo

I rofl

theDreamer

Two Rednecks, Larry and Doug, are sitting at their favorite bar,
drinking beer.
Larry turns to Doug and says, 'You know, I'm tired of going through
life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the Community College
and sign up for some classes.'
Doug thinks it's a good idea and the two leave.
The next day, Larry goes down to the college and meets Dean of
Admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: Math, English, history, and
Logic.
'Logic?' Larry says. 'What's that?'
The dean says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?'
'Yeah.'
'Then logically speaking, because you own a weed eater, I think that you
would have a yard.'
'That's true, I do have a yard.'
'I'm not done,' the dean says. 'Because you have a yard, I think
logically that you would have a house.'
'Yes, I do have a house.'
'And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a
family.'
'Yes, I have a family.
'I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must
have a wife. And because you have a wife, then logic tells me you must be a
heterosexual.'
'I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of
that because I have a weed eater.'
Excited to take the class now, Larry shakes the Dean's hand and leaves to
go meet Doug at the bar. He tells Doug about his classes, how he is signed
up for Math, English, History, and Logic.
'Logic?' Doug says, 'What's that?'
Larry says, 'I'll give you an example. Do you have a weed eater?'
'No.'
'Then you're a queer.'

__________________
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Togo

hahahahah good one dreamer

theDreamer

That was an email I got this morning, funny because it came from a "redneck."

__________________
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Togo

hahha nice

frost

Didn't see the punchline coming, pretty decent.

protoZ

ya know all us rednecks down here from georgia resent that

theDreamer

Do you own a house?

__________________
theDreamer's Z // Fast Intentions // Uprev // GTM // HKS // TEIN
theDreamer's Silvia // URAS // GREDDY
Houston Zs // Facebook // Twitter // Instagram

Togo

^hahahha

theDreamer

__________________
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theDreamer's Silvia // URAS // GREDDY
Houston Zs // Facebook // Twitter // Instagram

protoZ

uh an apartment but i have a weed eater

theDreamer

So you are bi....

__________________
theDreamer's Z // Fast Intentions // Uprev // GTM // HKS // TEIN
theDreamer's Silvia // URAS // GREDDY
Houston Zs // Facebook // Twitter // Instagram

protoZ

no