The New "What did you do with your Z today" (with off topic replies)

onzedge · 10-24-2012, 11:46 AM

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Nismo89 · 10-24-2012, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onzedge

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

hahaha!

shadoquad · 10-24-2012, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onzedge

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

Huck · 10-24-2012, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackcherry20

there is a guy here that some days I just don't even speak to him for that exact reason.

That's what she said!! Hahahahaha

Sorry I had to be a jerk for a second, morning everyone!

I'm sleepy as hell, and I found $20 in my work pants so I can't tell what kind of day this is gonna be.

The mall is having a Halloween costume contest for little tiny kids, so that means screaming babies and about 50/50 super hot/ super ugly moms. Also I'm taking apart the mall's jungle Jim and kids are screaming "MOMMY!! HE'S BREAKING MY JUNGLE JIM!!" and the parents are mad at me.

Sent from my iPizzle using magic and new-fangled science stuff

alcheng · 10-24-2012, 12:43 PM

No wash&wax today.....

Mother nature is giving a light shower to Toronto..... ***sigh***

blackcherry20 · 10-24-2012, 12:44 PM

..Vroom! Nation's fastest road to open in TexasAssociated Press – 4 hrs ago.........SAN ANTONIO (AP) — Motorists, start your engines. It's opening day for the last leg of a Texas toll road with the nation's fastest speed limit.

The final 41-mile stretch of Texas Highway 130 will open Wednesday after three years of construction. The speed limit will be 85 mph.

The toll road is intended to help alleviate the increasingly crowded Interstate 35 corridor between Austin and San Antonio, which are two of the state's largest metropolitan areas.

The new stretch will be from Mustang Ridge, about 10 miles south of Austin's international airport, to Interstate 10 just east of Seguin. A 50-mile stretch bypassing Austin is already open.

Tolls for personal vehicles displaying an electronic toll tag will be about 15 cents per mile. But no tolls will be collected until Nov. 11.

...

blackcherry20 · 10-24-2012, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Huck

That's what she said!! Hahahahaha

Sorry I had to be a jerk for a second, morning everyone!

I'm sleepy as hell, and I found $20 in my work pants so I can't tell what kind of day this is gonna be. The mall is having a Halloween costume contest for little tiny kids, so that means screaming babies and about 50/50 super hot/ super ugly moms. Also I'm taking apart the mall's jungle Jim and kids are screaming "MOMMY!! HE'S BREAKING MY JUNGLE JIM!!" and the parents are mad at me.

Sent from my iPizzle using magic and new-fangled science stuff

you are quite the guy Huck!

made me laugh out loud this time!

Pintsize725 · 10-24-2012, 12:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackcherry20

..Vroom! Nation's fastest road to open in TexasAssociated Press – 4 hrs ago.........SAN ANTONIO (AP) — Motorists, start your engines. It's opening day for the last leg of a Texas toll road with the nation's fastest speed limit.

The final 41-mile stretch of Texas Highway 130 will open Wednesday after three years of construction. The speed limit will be 85 mph.

The toll road is intended to help alleviate the increasingly crowded Interstate 35 corridor between Austin and San Antonio, which are two of the state's largest metropolitan areas.

The new stretch will be from Mustang Ridge, about 10 miles south of Austin's international airport, to Interstate 10 just east of Seguin. A 50-mile stretch bypassing Austin is already open.

Tolls for personal vehicles displaying an electronic toll tag will be about 15 cents per mile. But no tolls will be collected until Nov. 11.

...

**** yea!! Looks like I'll be visiting SA more often!!

shadoquad · 10-24-2012, 12:48 PM

shadoquad · 10-24-2012, 12:49 PM

blackcherry20 · 10-24-2012, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alcheng

No wash&wax today.....

Mother nature is giving a light shower to Toronto..... ***sigh***

sorry alcheng....

blackcherry20 · 10-24-2012, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadoquad

yepp-thats him alright!

blackcherry20 · 10-24-2012, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pintsize725

**** yea!! Looks like I'll be visiting SA more often!!

gawd-I wish I was closer, dang!

alcheng · 10-24-2012, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackcherry20

..Vroom! Nation's fastest road to open in TexasAssociated Press – 4 hrs ago.........SAN ANTONIO (AP) — Motorists, start your engines. It's opening day for the last leg of a Texas toll road with the nation's fastest speed limit.

The final 41-mile stretch of Texas Highway 130 will open Wednesday after three years of construction. The speed limit will be 85 mph.

The toll road is intended to help alleviate the increasingly crowded Interstate 35 corridor between Austin and San Antonio, which are two of the state's largest metropolitan areas.

The new stretch will be from Mustang Ridge, about 10 miles south of Austin's international airport, to Interstate 10 just east of Seguin. A 50-mile stretch bypassing Austin is already open.

Tolls for personal vehicles displaying an electronic toll tag will be about 15 cents per mile. But no tolls will be collected until Nov. 11.

...

An orgasm that costs about $6.15… good deal

GaleForce · 10-24-2012, 01:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadoquad

Oh man! I have to save that! Mini GaleForce will shart his Under-Roos when he sees that...

( Click to show/hide )

10-24-2012, 11:46 AM	#8911 (permalink)
onzedge A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Battle Lake MN Age: 64 Posts: 183,964 Drives: 370Z 240Z Rep Power: 2684736	A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the vet.. "How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room. A few minutes later he returned with a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck." The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!" The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150." shadoquad, JARblue, Nismo89 and 2 others like this. __________________ Koni\|Swift\|Michelin\|Motordyne\|Berk\|RJM Performance\|Gates\|SPL\|Motul\|Technafit\|Ate Super Blue\|Hawk Tommy Kaira\|Momo\|Optima\|Hella\|Hotchkis\|Red Line\|ZSpeed\|Stillen\|B&M\|H&R

10-24-2012, 12:44 PM	#8916 (permalink)
blackcherry20 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2012 Location: Southern Ohio Posts: 22,749 Drives: ‘17 badazz Z51 Rep Power: 240459	*..Vroom! Nation's fastest road to open in Texas*Associated Press – 4 hrs ago.........SAN ANTONIO (AP) — Motorists, start your engines. It's opening day for the last leg of a Texas toll road with the nation's fastest speed limit. The final 41-mile stretch of Texas Highway 130 will open Wednesday after three years of construction. The speed limit will be 85 mph. The toll road is intended to help alleviate the increasingly crowded Interstate 35 corridor between Austin and San Antonio, which are two of the state's largest metropolitan areas. The new stretch will be from Mustang Ridge, about 10 miles south of Austin's international airport, to Interstate 10 just east of Seguin. A 50-mile stretch bypassing Austin is already open. Tolls for personal vehicles displaying an electronic toll tag will be about 15 cents per mile. But no tolls will be collected until Nov. 11. ... JARblue and Nismo89 like this. __________________ Grand Sport Corvette Arctic White

10-24-2012, 12:49 PM	#8920 (permalink)
shadoquad A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: . Posts: 42,608 Drives: . Rep Power: 3886	Nismo89 and blackcherry20 like this.

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alcheng A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Toronto Posts: 28,894 Drives: 2011 ZR PW w/Clutch Rep Power: 418353	No wash&wax today..... Mother nature is giving a light shower to Toronto..... *sigh*

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