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Old 10-09-2009, 10:43 PM   #2266 (permalink)
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Old 10-09-2009, 10:44 PM   #2267 (permalink)
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Old 10-09-2009, 10:45 PM   #2268 (permalink)
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For Garrett:

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Old 10-09-2009, 10:46 PM   #2269 (permalink)
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I think that's my little niece?
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Old 10-09-2009, 10:52 PM   #2270 (permalink)
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Old 10-09-2009, 10:59 PM   #2271 (permalink)
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My fave ones!
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Old 10-09-2009, 11:00 PM   #2272 (permalink)
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Old 10-09-2009, 11:16 PM   #2273 (permalink)
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Old 10-10-2009, 12:07 AM   #2274 (permalink)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDTZCgsZGeA&feature=related
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Old 10-10-2009, 12:21 AM   #2275 (permalink)
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This is an actual job application someone submitted for a fast-food establishment:

APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT

NAME: Greg Bulmash

DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. Ha ha. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle-management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: Only when set on fire.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in Bimini with a fabulously wealthy supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? No, but I dare you to prove otherwise.
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Old 10-10-2009, 12:37 AM   #2276 (permalink)
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ha

sounds like my mcdonalds app at the age of 16...


oh and i was hired
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:04 AM   #2277 (permalink)
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Think outside the box
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C.

The Russians used a pencil.
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:05 AM   #2278 (permalink)
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Think outside the box
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 Billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C.

The Russians used a pencil.
snopes.com: NASA Space Pen

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Old 10-10-2009, 01:09 AM   #2279 (permalink)
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It's the lesson to be learned from the story that matters!
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Old 10-10-2009, 01:13 AM   #2280 (permalink)
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Quote:
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It's the lesson to be learned from the story that matters!
and the moral of the story is: "he that writes upside down with pencil in zero gravity is rooskie"
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