F My Life!

Pushing_Tin · 05-25-2009, 12:53 AM

Anybody else love this site?

FMyLife - FML : Your everyday life stories.

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and proceeded to blow past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

frost · 05-25-2009, 12:55 AM

rofl.
The first thing I saw was pretty good:

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

arcticreaver · 05-25-2009, 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frost

rofl.
The first thing I saw was pretty good:

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

that was HELLA good..

GreenJalapeno · 05-25-2009, 01:18 AM

LOL...

"Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and ho to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled 'I'M ON THE TOILET!' He said 'ew..' FML"

nogoodname · 05-25-2009, 08:08 AM

hahaha...that's too random

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML

dunno why it looks like link........weird

eXo5 · 05-25-2009, 08:42 AM

Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid **** anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML

Today, I did my boyfriend a favour and did his laundry since he slept over. I washed his whites and my nice shirts with bleach. They came out pink. I found the offending red thong. It wasn't mine. I essentially ruined $200 worth of my clothes to find out my boyfriend was cheating on me. FML

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML

hahahahaha!

theDreamer · 05-25-2009, 09:18 AM

Have seen this website awhile ago, it gets pretty good, I try not to read it to often so when I do view it there are plenty of good stories. Great morning read before work if your morning has been pretty "bleh."

Sunsational04 · 05-25-2009, 12:59 PM

hilarious!

invazn · 05-27-2009, 11:35 PM

There is another popular site that is quite similar. Funny stuff.

texts from last night

frost · 05-28-2009, 08:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by invazn

There is another popular site that is quite similar. Funny stuff.

texts from last night

"I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay "

05-28-2009, 08:16 PM

(802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

arcticreaver · 05-28-2009, 08:40 PM

anyone here make an account with FML??

ChrisSlicks · 05-28-2009, 09:20 PM

These 2 might know each other.

"Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. "

"Today I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. "

Lyndo · 05-29-2009, 01:04 AM

hahaha yes i love that site, go read the new ones every day lol, some are fake i think tho cuz if read enough of em you notice some repititions or wery similar ones

SgtGoldy · 08-28-2009, 09:17 AM

In '05 I saved up enough to buy my 350z. Went to the dealership, bought her... and a week later lost my job and had to choose between rent & my car. I decided I couldn't wash dishes and clothes in my car...

05-25-2009, 12:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pushing_Tin A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Eugene, OR Posts: 2,875 Drives: E63 AMG Rep Power: 227	F My Life! Anybody else love this site? FMyLife - FML : Your everyday life stories. Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and proceeded to blow past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

05-25-2009, 08:08 AM	#5 (permalink)
nogoodname Lifetime Premium Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Montreal Posts: 22,357 Drives: E46 M3 Rep Power: 1764	hahaha...that's too random Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML dunno why it looks like link........weird Last edited by nogoodname; 05-25-2009 at 08:11 AM.

05-25-2009, 08:42 AM	#6 (permalink)
eXo5 Enthusiast Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: delaware Posts: 368 Drives: skateboard w/ NAWWWZ Rep Power: 672	Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid **** anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML Today, I did my boyfriend a favour and did his laundry since he slept over. I washed his whites and my nice shirts with bleach. They came out pink. I found the offending red thong. It wasn't mine. I essentially ruined $200 worth of my clothes to find out my boyfriend was cheating on me. FML Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML hahahahaha! __________________ Remember kids, NAWZ energy drink will not make your car go faster.

05-25-2009, 09:18 AM	#7 (permalink)
theDreamer A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 30,879 Drives: 370z Rep Power: 4210	Have seen this website awhile ago, it gets pretty good, I try not to read it to often so when I do view it there are plenty of good stories. Great morning read before work if your morning has been pretty "bleh." __________________ theDreamer's Z // Fast Intentions // Uprev // GTM // HKS // TEIN theDreamer's Silvia // URAS // GREDDY Houston Zs // Facebook // Twitter // Instagram

05-28-2009, 08:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
arcticreaver Track Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Arcadia, CA Posts: 769 Drives: 2009 Z34 7AT PG Rep Power: 924	anyone here make an account with FML?? __________________ http://www.facebook.com/arcticreaver - FaceBook http://www.linkedin.com/pub/sam-yang/a/832/325 - LinkedIn Profile

05-25-2009, 12:55 AM	#2 (permalink)
frost Retired admin Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Winterfell Posts: 106,613 Drives: Your Wife Crazy Rep Power: 0	rofl. The first thing I saw was pretty good: Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

05-25-2009, 01:18 AM	#4 (permalink)
GreenJalapeno Enthusiast Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: La Canada Flintridge Posts: 355 Drives: 10 Nissan 370Z PW M6 Rep Power: 291	LOL... "Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and ho to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled 'I'M ON THE TOILET!' He said 'ew..' FML"

05-25-2009, 12:59 PM	#8 (permalink)
Sunsational04 Administrative Assistant Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Galloway, NJ Posts: 1,937 Drives: 2019 430xi BMDUBBB Rep Power: 2684374	hilarious!

05-27-2009, 11:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
invazn Base Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: new orleans Posts: 105 Drives: 07 350z Rep Power: 16	There is another popular site that is quite similar. Funny stuff. texts from last night

05-28-2009, 08:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
blue660r01 Guest Posts: n/a	(802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

05-28-2009, 09:20 PM	#13 (permalink)
ChrisSlicks A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: North East Posts: 6,203 Drives: 09 370Z Sport M6 Rep Power: 653	These 2 might know each other. "Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. " "Today I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. "

05-29-2009, 01:04 AM	#14 (permalink)
Lyndo Base Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Saskatoon, Sk, Canada Posts: 53 Drives: honda accord Rep Power: 16	hahaha yes i love that site, go read the new ones every day lol, some are fake i think tho cuz if read enough of em you notice some repititions or wery similar ones

08-28-2009, 09:17 AM	#15 (permalink)
SgtGoldy A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Orange County, CA Posts: 3,503 Drives: C63 AMG - LSD Rep Power: 650	In '05 I saved up enough to buy my 350z. Went to the dealership, bought her... and a week later lost my job and had to choose between rent & my car. I decided I couldn't wash dishes and clothes in my car... __________________ C63 AMG LSD - Straight Pipe - EuroCharge v5 - Vossen CV7 - IG: @SuperFastYo

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