The 370z Useless Thread (Coors Lite version)

BanningZ · 04-16-2009, 07:11 PM

Ever see a turtle on Valium? ....me either.

xDIEGOx · 04-17-2009, 01:10 AM

this thread should be stickied

BanningZ · 04-17-2009, 04:19 AM

Wow my rep power just got killed. Did I do something wrong?

xDIEGOx · 04-17-2009, 12:40 PM

Yes. It's because you touch yourself at night.

BanningZ · 04-17-2009, 05:59 PM

How'd you know?!

frost · 04-17-2009, 08:10 PM

Again with the rep changes? Whenever I get above 6 it crashes down.

04-19-2009, 06:21 PM

HKY.....it was good

BanningZ · 04-19-2009, 09:16 PM

REINCARNATION

Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he
often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.

He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long
flowing white robe.

“Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”.

The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St. Peter”.

Jason was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for,
I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away”.

St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send
you back as a dog or a hen.”

Jason was devastated, but knowing there was a farm
not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he
was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.

“This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are you
enjoying your first day here?”

“It’s not so bad” replies Jason, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to
explode”.

“You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”.

“Never” replies Jason.

“Well just relax and let it happen”.

And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under
his tail.

An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he
experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of
happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing
that had ever happened to him… ever!!!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous
SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,

“Jason! Wake up you drunken bastard, you’re ******** the bed!”

nogoodname · 04-20-2009, 06:24 PM

what happened to the rep?? can't be my fault....wasn't here...lol

BanningZ · 04-20-2009, 06:56 PM

^ Just the standard adjustment for inflation. We're getting use to it.

frost · 04-20-2009, 08:41 PM

^ rofl

frost · 04-20-2009, 11:51 PM

This dude is going to have a tough time:
Cars For Sale: Car Details - AutoTrader.com

nogoodname · 04-22-2009, 06:46 PM

^why get a new one when you could get a used 07 for more cash

nogoodname · 04-22-2009, 06:48 PM

Shumby, Thermo is going good now
I got the cycles down just the 1st and 2nd laws are tripping me out

frost · 04-22-2009, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nogoodname007

^why get a new one when you could get a used 07 for more cash

04-16-2009, 07:11 PM	#3511 (permalink)
BanningZ A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: nowhere Posts: 5,478 Drives: 06' Nismo Frontier Rep Power: 29	Ever see a turtle on Valium? ....me either. __________________ Become a Premium Member: Click HERE MB 06' Nismo VQ40DE

04-17-2009, 01:10 AM	#3512 (permalink)
xDIEGOx Enthusiast Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 377 Drives: 02 Ram 4x4 Rep Power: 232	this thread should be stickied __________________ Wanna see every Top Gear episode? Click --->Top Gear

04-17-2009, 04:19 AM	#3513 (permalink)
BanningZ A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: nowhere Posts: 5,478 Drives: 06' Nismo Frontier Rep Power: 29	Wow my rep power just got killed. Did I do something wrong? __________________ Become a Premium Member: Click HERE MB 06' Nismo VQ40DE

04-17-2009, 12:40 PM	#3514 (permalink)
xDIEGOx Enthusiast Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 377 Drives: 02 Ram 4x4 Rep Power: 232	Yes. It's because you touch yourself at night. __________________ Wanna see every Top Gear episode? Click --->Top Gear

04-17-2009, 05:59 PM	#3515 (permalink)
BanningZ A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: nowhere Posts: 5,478 Drives: 06' Nismo Frontier Rep Power: 29	How'd you know?! __________________ Become a Premium Member: Click HERE MB 06' Nismo VQ40DE

04-17-2009, 08:10 PM	#3516 (permalink)
frost Retired admin Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Winterfell Posts: 106,613 Drives: Your Wife Crazy Rep Power: 0	Again with the rep changes? Whenever I get above 6 it crashes down.

04-19-2009, 06:21 PM	#3517 (permalink)
blue660r01 Guest Posts: n/a	HKY.....it was good

04-19-2009, 09:16 PM	#3518 (permalink)
BanningZ A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: nowhere Posts: 5,478 Drives: 06' Nismo Frontier Rep Power: 29	Totally stolen joke, but its funny! REINCARNATION Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what are you doing in my bedroom?”. The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St. Peter”. Jason was stunned “You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family…. you’ve got to send me back straight away”. St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen.” Jason was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him. The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?” “It’s not so bad” replies Jason, “but I have this strange feeling inside like I’m about to explode”. “You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid an egg before”. “Never” replies Jason. “Well just relax and let it happen”. And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had ever happened to him… ever!!! The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous SMACK on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting, “Jason! Wake up you drunken bastard, you’re ****** the bed!” __________________ Become a Premium Member: Click HERE MB 06' Nismo VQ40DE**

04-20-2009, 06:24 PM	#3519 (permalink)
nogoodname Lifetime Premium Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Montreal Posts: 22,357 Drives: E46 M3 Rep Power: 1765	what happened to the rep?? can't be my fault....wasn't here...lol

04-20-2009, 06:56 PM	#3520 (permalink)
BanningZ A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: nowhere Posts: 5,478 Drives: 06' Nismo Frontier Rep Power: 29	^ Just the standard adjustment for inflation. We're getting use to it. __________________ Become a Premium Member: Click HERE MB 06' Nismo VQ40DE

04-20-2009, 08:41 PM	#3521 (permalink)
frost Retired admin Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Winterfell Posts: 106,613 Drives: Your Wife Crazy Rep Power: 0	^ rofl

04-20-2009, 11:51 PM	#3522 (permalink)
frost Retired admin Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Winterfell Posts: 106,613 Drives: Your Wife Crazy Rep Power: 0	This dude is going to have a tough time: Cars For Sale: Car Details - AutoTrader.com

04-22-2009, 06:46 PM	#3523 (permalink)
nogoodname Lifetime Premium Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Montreal Posts: 22,357 Drives: E46 M3 Rep Power: 1765	^why get a new one when you could get a used 07 for more cash

04-22-2009, 06:48 PM	#3524 (permalink)
nogoodname Lifetime Premium Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Montreal Posts: 22,357 Drives: E46 M3 Rep Power: 1765	Shumby, Thermo is going good now I got the cycles down just the 1st and 2nd laws are tripping me out

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