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Bro In Law Ruining my Wifes Family!!Advice?
Long story, disowned! Move on
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Jesus Christ!!! Double space once in while? Lol
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yea I just realized that...lol..my bad
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invite the mom, and sister over. not the BIL. set em down. give em the fact.s they dont like it and ignore it, outta your hands.
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Dear ludeakris7,
Please edit original post for readability. Signed, Everyone. Having said that, this "kid" is 23. In my experience, blood is not thicker than water. We cannot choose who our family is and therefore does not obligate us to associate with said individuals. It is a choice we all have to make. My point is if your wife's family allow themselves to get walked on by him because he's family and no other reason, it's their own fault. This is my own personal opinion and nothing more. |
With all due respect, you married into one f*cked up family.
If I were you, I'd make sure your wife stops talking to her brother. |
It saddens me cuz I was really close to him when he first started messing up and I covered for him like a brother and ends up he screwed me over. I really don't want to see him this way and neither my wife. We have tried over and over to knock sense into him but he just laughs in our face. Its a shame. We thought he would figure life out but its just getting worse. Its hard to see my wife stressed.
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funny thing is Arnold is that before all this happened I came from a divorced home and felt like my fam was bad...boy have things changed! My poor wifey:shakes head:
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You created him. You can destroy him.
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I actually read your story and I feel part of your pain. I say this because I have a cousin that is the same way. The only difference is that he has a gambling addiction and on top of that one of aunts is suspicious of him doing drugs too.
The thing is my aunt (my cousin's mom) is the same way as your MIL. Doesn't do anything to force him to change or do any good. When ever there is a bill that comes up like car insurance payments or car maintenance fees, he forces his mom to pay it all. All the money that he earns is basically wasted on gambling. When ever he tells his mom to pay it and she doesn't, he would threaten her and say that he will stop working and blah blah blah. I am not sure why she falls into his traps. Honestly though, you can't do much other than be honest. If you know something just let your wife know. As for your BIL, he will always be the same till he loses EVERYTHING. this means going to prison for 5 years of his life over drug charges and realizing that getting butt raped again isn't the way he want it anymore. |
I would usually say that it's a "family" matter, but you are family (at least married into). Nevertheless, once he steals, money or otherwise, it needs to be addressed right away.
I've seen some guys riding in black and white vehicles that might be able to help. File reports and such. Just 'cause he's your wife's brother doesn't mean you have to put up with his crap. Gotta cut your loses. And no I didn't read your whole post, in case my answer doesn't make any sense. |
Oh yea, don't you used post in superhonda.com? Or whatever that forum was that a lot of prelude guys used to hang out in.
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Push in adams apple with the one hand and throw short quick jabs to face with other. Repeat as necessary. Roll of quarters optional. |
What's screwed up is this. The guy is a pos, but he's a pos in part because of his addiction. He's a pos because withdrawal symptoms are making his body demand more from his family than is reasonable.
It always strains relationships. We hurt the ones we love the most. The MIL is definitely an enabler. And that sux. This guy needs help. End of story. Until that kid is in rehab, jail, or has a meaningful intervention, your wife is going to go nuts caring for him. The MIL probably knows more than she lets on, but lets it happen because of love. But tough love is what's needed in this case. addiction is a bitch, man. |
Hearing your story makes me realize how many people are in similar situations. I have issues with an adult son and believe me, he is running out of supporters. Not the same entirely, but the same self-indulgent behaviour and lack of respect for other people or their property.
Thoughts and prayers to you and your wife's family.... |
Bro F|_|ck that shet...once a man goes back on his word he ceases to be a man... therefore no Sympathy!!! I understand that he is in a way family but if he is messing up your own family that you are tying to build with your wife, I say bury him on the spot! There is no telling what type of trouble/heat he could bring to YOUR home!!! Guys looking to collect from him start looking at what you got! Trust me man when it comes to BS like that,F*** Family, cause that ain't family... There is no excuse for that crack head shet...Honestly if I was you I would plant some product on him and rat him out! Send his a$$ away for some lockdown time...
but thats just me... I know I came off harsh and i do apologize if it offends you or anyone but I m just being real with you...GL man. and take care of that family |
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My friend had an issue with his son for years. I don't even want to go into details, but it ended in a total nightmare. I hope that your situation, as well as the OP's situation, both end better than my friend's did. |
Thats some heavy stuff to post to a forum you just joined. :) Just saying.
Edit: I see the join date.. still. I'd straight up move. No need to live in Jerry Springer-land if you don't have to. Crack/Tweak whatever he's on, the kid isn't going to change until hits rock bottom and from the sounds of it, thats not going to happen for a while. With the enablers around him he's nowhere NEAR it. More of your stuff is going to be stolen. More cars are going to be wrecked. He'll probably do some time and come out even worse and either O.D. or do maybe something even more terrible. Leave man. Seriously, get the wife [the kids if you got them] and LEAVE. Convince her to pack up and bail on all of that drama. It's not healthy for you, her and definitely not healthy for any kids you have or will have. |
Your wife and MIL are enabling him to continue in his douchedness. Everyone needs to quit loaning him things and boot him out on his ear. He's quite old enough to be on his own.
If he steals things from you, I'd confront him. If he lies about it. Get evidence and have him arrested. May be harsh, but might wake the little twerp up. |
Basically it's the phrase, "Fool me once, shame on you... Fool me twice, shame on me" playing over and over again.
You said you had friends in law enforcement... I would pay one of them one day to just act as if they are busting the kid, handcuff him and put him in the back of the car. And bring him straight to your house for an intervention with everyone involved. And basically you let the family grow some balls and put it on the line. He gets one SINGULAR last chance, no more enabling. If he screws up again, he Will go to jail. Either by being arrested, or by the family pressing charges for the stolen goods and admitting he's driving without a license. And then you put the responsibility on him. He's 23 years old. Old enough to drink, old enough to vote, old enough to smoke, old enough to enlist for his country. He's old enough to accept the repercussions of his actions. And if he doesn't choose to do it the easy way, then he'll have to do it the hard way. Just my :twocents: |
To the OP: I read your whole first post. My summary is this: Since your inlaws aren't really doing anything proactive about it, I think it's time for you to step in and do it. Whether you want them to know or not is up to you, but your BIL is a d-bag that needs to be taken out.
He needs to be punished instead of enabled, which is what your inlaws are doing for him. As long as he knows they will support him or cave in, he's going to continue to play that game and cause untold stress on you. You and your family need to tackle the source of the stress, pure and simple. Cut him off completely to start off with, or document all his shenanigans and report what you can to the local authorities. If he steals, report it. If he lies, document it. I know it's easy for me to type it, but I think your BIL is a waste of good air. People like him have no excuse to live in our society. Guys like him are worthless and are parasites to the rest of us. |
call the cop. say you think hes up to illegal activities...
hen let him borrow your truck, have the cops promise they wont impound it bam lock him up |
yea cell..im on preludeonline and preludezone..I'm buyin a Z next summer thats why I'm here.
Appreciate the feedback. I know the kid needs help but my efforts are futile. So for this situation I am just letting all this suspensions, accidents, drugs etc catch up to him without my involvement. It always does. Trying to be involved has never worked out so until his family cant take anymore I can only be there for my wife. |
Just protect you and your wife. The rest isn't youre problem or place to take care of.
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i like your advice imprtcnvrt...that was what i was thinking. I'm just protecting the wifey and myself and staying out of it. The more I think about it the more time I have wasted.
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1. When penning this novel, stay in active voice, passive voice is bad for narration. 2. Keep it under 90,000 words. For a first time author the publishers have that limit. 75,000-80,000 is good. 3. Try and get a literary agent, it really helps getting your first novel published. 4. 99% of the time just use "he said" or "she said" without any adverbs. As an example lets look at "he said meekly". Leave "meekly" out, let other narration tell that tale. Good Luck! |
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