The New "What did you do with your Z today" (with off topic replies) XXIII

Originally Posted by Leingod

I have these really nice swivel style wooden chairs surrounding the island at my house. They're gorgeous. Satin finish on an oak wood trim with beautiful engraving and the utmost perfect swivel to them. Amazing foot rstyle rests surround the legs with a sheen to them that gives tire shine a run for its money. They're comfortable to sit in and provide great support.

Anyways. So here I am having homemade stir fry with the girlfriend. Toasted sesame oil, cauliflower, Chicken, an amazing fry sauce and sushi rice. Smelled amazing. So here we are eating it. I'm shoveling my mouth full until I feel a rumble. My male natural instincts took over as I gleamed over at the girlfriend who was politely chewing a piece of baby corn. This pure smirk of "you're gonna love this" poured over my sauce laden face. I slowly lefted my left butt cheek to about a 25 degree angle. Perfect angle for maximum wind rippling across the shining oak wood of the chair.

I broke wind with the grace and elegance of a giraffe drinking water from a pond. The pure look of horror and disgust on the girlfriends face rivaled that of the Holocaust. The wind pushed and easily encapsulated the vibrating room penetrating well over 70 decibels.

I lay on cheek back on the stool and keep eating. I am now sleeping on the couch for the night. Worth it.