Still think about my Ex-GF...
 

Hey guys, I come here today to try and vent and understand myself. Maybe some of you more experienced older men or woman can give me some advice, tips, or knowledge...

I had a girlfriend that I met about 3 years ago. We had what seemed like the most perfect relationship. We cherished each other, cared for each other, and loved each other more than anything. We always hung out when we had the time and we always spoke all the time. We mostly never argued, ever.

We had sex about 2 times a week, and she was a virgin when I met her. (we didnt live together, were both fairly young and go to school).

But then towards the end of our relationship, its like all of a sudden out of no where, everything just vanished. Its like in one week she suddenly didnt love me as much as I did her. (to be honest we did have a little bit of an argument prior to this, but it was stupid really).
Ive never cheated on her and she promises she has never cheated on me or left because of some other guy.

We spoke again like 6 months later and then a year later (a Hi hows life type of conversation) and she still doesnt really give me closure as to why our relationship ended. I feel as if neither of us did anything to end it...
What bothers me is just when I feel like I have moved on, I still think about her almost every day, even though I know I shouldnt. Even when im crushing on other girls.

Last time we spoke she said she hasnt met anyone, that she doesnt have time, etc... (idk if shes just saying that, but I believe her).

But idk how to feel. Ive been with two other girls since her, and only had sex with one. It didnt last long, she didnt seem as good a person as my ex. And even then I still think about her.
I feel as if ill never meet anyone again. And that makes me feel very sad and depressed sometimes.

I work full time and go to school full time, but it seems as if ill never find a girl right for me. And I also feel like even if I did, I wouldnt have time, because of work and school...

Im tired of feeling lonely and sad. I just came here to see what you guys think?

Anyone else that has dealt with these feelings? how did you cope?
Sometimes I think its pathetic really that I still think about her, even though we havent spoken in a year.
Sometimes I wonder if she thinks about me or if she has completely forgotten me...
I try to forget, but I feel that until I find another girl to be serious with, I wont get over her.

Sounds like you need to go for a long drive in your Z.

But really if it was meant to be it will happened, all you can do is move on with life. A long time ago I met a cool chick she like going for long drives, like the same music, etc. we went out for for 2-3 years and we both realized at the time we wanted different things and went our separate ways. we would still talk now and again, the same sort of hey how's it going in passing. about 2 years later we met up to talk about things and have been back together since.
Hang in there.

All of that -- for better or worse (and maybe a bit of both) -- is very, very normal. You will fall in love again (and possibly repeat this whole procedure...). But then another, and so on.

Eventually, people get a bit better at minimizing the part where you have to rinse and repeat. Not everyone get's it perfect (and probably no one does), but people do tend to get a bit better at it as they better learn who they are and who others are (inter- and intrapersonal intelligence, say).

However, it's rarely at your age.

You are in your 20's and so is she I'm guessing, so both of you are still a ways a way from having a good sense of who you are, where you are going in life, how to put yourself in another person's shoes, etc.

That may all sound cliche, but it is more true than not. And that is (although it might not seem that way at the moment) a good thing, because it means there is much to look forward to.

I would give her some space and live your life. Perhaps you two will get back, perhaps you will find someone you get along better with (and perhaps both... that happens too).

In the meantime, go easy on yourself and on her and on the lack of a good reason for things not working out. Unfortunately, there doesn't need to be a deeper bigger reason.

Looking for a "reason" will probably not comfort you because you won't like the answer you arrive at (no matter what it is or where blame is placed, or any blame at all is placed), and because you want to avoid trying to reverse engineer the theorized cause(s), which will more likely lead to ruminating glumly than feeling better and finding closure.

On the bright side, you have gone through this without a divorce and with many, many more opportunities (good and bad... life's a bit of a sine wave...) ahead of you.

Accept that as best you can, and continue to focus on moving forward rather than on what's left behind.

You cope by sighing, accepting, moving on, learning how to better manage your own emotions, balance your needs and wants with those of another, and ruminating as little as possible.

One foot in front of the other.

Support of friends (I don't know if we faceless Z forum folk count...) and keeping the promise of new romances in mind is probably the best bet.

Indeed, hang in there.

Hey, I'm in a similar boat, gf never told me why it ended, just one day, pretty much stopped replying and pushed me away, no argument, nothing.

Fúcking sucks áss brother...

Unfortunately, time heals all... Sometimes it just takes a LOT of time...

I'm sorry you're miserable. This too shall pass. Enjoy the memories and stay busy. That will help. My husband and I went through a 6 month break up. I felt like you are describing. In order to get closure i finally contacted him. Told him point blank how I felt and let go. I felt so much better. Omg. Happy ending though as he called me and we ended up marrying less than 6 months later. Not saying that will happen for you but it did for me. Maybe you should try that. Declare and move on. If she reciprocates. Ok. If she doesnt. Ok. At least You did what you could.

What are you wasting your time writing crap on the internet for? Go out and chase some tail. Your young, this stuff happens from time to time in life. Looking back at how many times this has happened to me or people I know, all I can tell you is it's just going to happen. Move on, chase some more tail, wash/rinse/repeat. Eventually you will find the one and it will just hit you like a ton of bricks. You'll get married and then be in for a whole new set of problems!!! lol

Im in the same boat too, it is what it is though, we gotta move on, there are other fish in the sea..

Plenty of fish in the sea man, especially if your in FL haha
Also you have a beautiful fairlady! :)
Don't let one girl ruin your happiness man, no one should get in the way of your happiness. Just move on and don't show her any emotions, because if you do, she knows that you will take her back no matter what. (Even if she is dating/seeing someone.)

I recommend you focus on you. Block out all that noise in your head and just focus on what you need to get to the next level. Then buy turbos and car parts before another girl swoops in and ruins all that fun.

You are way, way too young to get hung up on one. They made tons of them. Go test drive as many as possible. Worry about finding one long term once you hit 30. For now, bang everything that crosses your path.

No contact with the ex.

I just hit 31 and I want to bang everything that crosses my path lol. I think I'll find a long term one when I turn 40

Yeah, but you're a special case. :rofl2:

I Couldnt help but laugh when I saw this.

Anyways, thanks to all of you for the advice.

Lol, I liked that mathematical reference.

The best thing you can do at your age is find a cougar. You'll learn a lot of things you can then use on chicks your age and look like a god. Plus, they don't want a relationship, marriage, kids, etc. They already did that.

Yeah once in awhile everybody experience this. There is no security and surety in this world. Its better now than later when others are already involved like kids.

Relationship is a struggle. Its a constant battle but it all worth it. Been married 14 years and still learning.

Time would heal...better ones is just around the corner. In 3 weeks time you wont even look for her. Cut everything or anyone would remind of you of her.
If you need to get out of town to make it easier.

I did that I even cut my cellphone so I wont be tempted to call her. Start dating just for the heck of it. Hang around friends who knows a little about her.
Cut all ties with anyone close to her. Healing is faster.

Hey Chuck I think there is a dating site for cougars!!
Has anyone tried it and hooked one?

:worthless:

I always had better luck in bars, rather than online. However you find one, do it. It's completely impossible to mope around thinking about an ex when you're getting ****** six ways from Sunday by a 40 year old divorcee who can do magic tricks with her mouth and has no desire to hang around after she gets off.

Chuck is right on point with his advice.

Turn into a whore, bang old broads


Addendum: Have the old broads buy you stuff, lol

That's what you're supposed to do in your early twenties. Get all the whoring around out of your system so you're not stuck in your thirties with items on your list you still really want to try, but your wife/GF/SO isn't willing to do.

Honestly, do you really want your wife to be down with ATM? No. You just want to have that checked off the list before you're tied down.

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

I have no desire to see anyone ATM...

In any case... Chuck, you're on point.

i need a sugga mommA HAHAHA

When I was 21, I didn't have the same issue but was depressed from a break-up and stayed home mainly in bed for almost a full week. After letting time do its thing, I was good to go, went on dates and looked back and was like, "I regret feeling like that and making my body feel that way." haha trust us!!!

1) Do you lift weights?

1a- If the answer to question 1 is yes, lift more, squat deeper, enter a powerlifting meet, and become obsessed with being the strongest person on the planet.

1b- If the answer to question 1 is no, get some hair on your peaches and start lifting. It's impossible to think about your ex when you've got 2 or 3 worth of yourself loaded on your back and you're in the bottom of the hole on a squat with no spotter to save you.

I say this jokingly, but at the same time, finding something requiring physical exertion that you can be passionate about can really help to wash away a lot of problems. Like I said, it's hard to think about emotions when you're in fight or flight mode and your choices are sack up or get crushed.

i like what mighty mo has said here; and thou i hadn't thought of his approach beforehand, i had thoughts of my own response...

being MUCH older than you, lad, and having been thru the "rapids" with even more turbulence w/marriage/divorce/chillrens...i can easily, sadly recall being in my 20's yout...

i was "lucky" to have born in the era of the best music of all time: the mid 60's to the late 80's...i thought of this immediately when i read of your sorrow...

long (songs) story short...we had songs back then that could help us grieve to/hold out hope for/and feel like we were kindred spirits listening to songs that had listenable heart-felt lyrics, melodies, choruses that had strings that tug at one's heart and honor an melancholy, sentimental, sensitive persona that enabled me to put my sorrow into poem/lyric perspective...

it awoken my creative ability and helped to encapsulate both the sorrow and the chance to say: i can do poetry...

I like you.

This kind of thing is good motivation to better yourself and reach a point where she realized she screwed up. I had a nasty breakup 15 years ago. We had a kid together and I ended up being the one raising him. We were poor when we got together. Recently I found her on google plus, she's still poor and rents an apartment. I have a great career, better lookin wife, 2400 sq ft. home with a 1000 sq ft garage. I own 5 cars now including my Z!

Might sound childish but I feel a thousand times better knowing I won the race and she's still right where I left her!

Better yet be a premium member and unlock those keys to NSFW section that should keep you busy while working out!!!

Watch the movie Boomerang. You got whipped. You gotta whip dat p_ssy! BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG hahaha

Nice.

Guys like you make me sick. Stop pouring your guts out over some chick on the forums. Soooo many women out there. We all have been there. Just move on. Also, get over she was a virgin thing. Someone had to pop it. It just happened to be you!

But I was supposed to be her only one :(

SO GAYYYYYYYY.

Luckily i have a fix for you.

It fixes everything. GO Twin Turbo.

If you can't have her then nobody can. Don't cut horizontal cut vertically... :stirthepot:

I think I need some clarification? lol.

:iagree: