Pickup lines

370Zsteve

108-101

108 I just jizzed in my pants 107 ...you'll do. 106 "Hey, baby, would you like to twiddle my chest hair?" 105 "Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink." 104 "Is it true you're a lesbian?" 103 "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK." 102 "You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies." 101 "McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized..." [edit] 100-91

100 "You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement." 99 "You need something to shut that big mouth of yours." 98 Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!" 97 "How much is the fish?" 96 "Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths." 95 "I want to bone you." 94 "Damn, you look good in beer goggles..." 93 "Have you ever seen a 2-incher?" 92 "You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..." 91 "How much will a 20 get me?" [edit] 90-81


He's begging for it...
Added by Dexter111344


90 "Do you enjoy having sex with pitbulls, too?" 89 "My mom won't be home for hours..." 88 "And I thought I had a boner before!" 87 "May I play motorboat?" 86 "My favourite number's 69." 85 "Fancy a game of pin the **** in the arsehole?" 84 "Wanna play park the snake in the garage?" 83 "How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?" 82 "Don't make me rape you..." 81 "I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?" [edit] 80-71

80 "I've lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?"
So... What do you say? I'm a great driver.
Added by Dexter111344


79 "Wanna take a ride in my truck? It's a Ford... it's exotic." 78 "Damn you're ugly! Did you hit every branch on the ugly tree when you fell off and then climb back up for seconds?" 77 "I'm a man! You're a woman (I hope)! You do the math!" 76 "You don't sweat much for a fat chick."
Well?
Added by Roger The Bum


75 "If I tossed this quarter, what are the chances of me getting head?"

Added by Spintherism


74 "Wow, you look like Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?" 73 "Nice legs; what time do they open?" 72 "Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Iolanthe?" 71 "Hey baby, want to socialize your means of reproduction?" [edit] 61-70

70 (in a British accent) "I want to **** your bloody brains out." 69 (in an Australian accent) "I want to **** your bloody brains out." 68 "You must have fallen from Heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face." 67 "So what if you're on your period? A little blood never hurt nobody." 66 "Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, except down under..." 65 "I'm sine squared theta; you're cosine squared theta. Together we are one." 64 "Hey there, baby! I see you like sudoku... Well, you know, it's a long story, but I've got a sudoku puzzle tattooed on my abs... In braille! Wanna solve it?" 63 "Hey good lookin', wanna smell my finger?" 62 "Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants." 61 "So, do have anySouth African in you? Would you like some/some more?" [edit] 60-51

60 "Ish heav'n mishing a angel? Cuz... cuz... is heav'n mishn a... mishn a angel... yeah cuz... **** it. C'mere suck my ****." 59 "The word of the day is legs. Let's go to your house and spread the word." 58 "That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too." 57 "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" 56 "Hello, and Welcome! You have reached (pause and different voice) **** Johnson (original voice) female service number. If you are interested in vanilla sex, press 1 now. If you are interested in oral sex, press 2 now. If you are interested in anal sex, press 3 now. If you are interested in group sex, press 4 now. To repeat these choices, press 9 now. If your fetish is not listed here, or you are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line and a customer service rep will be with you shortly. Thank you for calling the (pause and different voice) **** Johnson (original voice) female service number. (muzak starts playing)" 55 "Burger King isn't the only thing that is king-sized..." 54 "Are you from the Netherlands? Because you are one big dyke!" 53

“Steve Johnson thinks that you're really hot and that you should sleep with him.”
~ Oscar Wilde on that hot chick at the bar

52 "Hey baby, I've got AIDS." 51 "Mmmmmm.... flabwank." [edit] 50-41

50 "Nice shoes, let's ****." 49 "My shirt would look great on your bedroom floor." 48 "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock." 47 "I'm a pussy-fist... err, pacifist, that's what I meant." 46 "I promise I won't videotape you in your sleep and sell the video on the Internet more than once." 45 "IT'S A ******!!! What? I wasn't being racist. I was just imitating Michael Richards. He is SO funny! 44 "I'm going to have sex with you tonight, you might as well be there to enjoy it." 43 "Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!" 42 "So, how do you like 4th grade?"(this is also the ultimate question for The Answer to The Great Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.) 41 "You have a better body than my dead great-grandmother!" [edit] 40-31

40 "You know, pants are a vestigial organ. Yours look infected." 39 "I have a thing for amputees."

“I bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero.”~ Batman on pick-up line 31

Added by Monchito


38 "My favourite position is The Serial Killer." 37 "Get out of your life and into my bed!" 36 (Thick Arab accent) "Hello... My son likes you!" 35 "Please, I am needing wife to get green card, but Immigration is wanting, how you say, proof of consummation." 34 "I'm Batman." 33 "Dammit, I creamed my trousers again!" 32 "I have a rare tropical disease which will kill me unless I have sex within the next half hour." 31 "Bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero." [edit] 30-21

30 "You look just like a swan. You have skinny legs but a fat ***." 29 "Breathe if you're horny.Alright! score!" 28 "Secret Service, ma'am. I need to do a full body cavity search. National security, you know." 27 "Sorry, I thought this was the men's room. Still, while we're alone in here..."
This is where you start running.
Added by Dexter111344


26 (As loud and angry as you can say) "Hulk horny. Hulk ****!" 25 "The doctor's pretty sure the antibiotics worked this time." 24 "So what do ya say? Wanna love me? Or Raymond, like everybody else?" 23 "If I had a dime for every time I tried to pick up a chick, I'd still be poor." 22 "My friend use to hand out phone cards that said Smile if you're horny." 21 "You're hotter than my daughter." [edit] 20-11

Numbers 20 through 11 are too vile to put on this list.
[edit] 10-1


10 "Help me! I'm gay but I've been thinking I may actually be straight! Please have sex with me and remove any doubt from my head!"
Added by Frinko



9 "My magical watch says you don't know who I am..." 8 "You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?" 7 "I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle." 6 "I inserted the quarter, when does the fun start?" 5 "Last night, I practiced on your sister." 4 "Well... it's not going to suck itself." 3 "I'm an Uncyclopedia reader and contributor." 2 "I'm a Wikipedia reader and contributor."
Look out, bitch!
Added by BaylorBoy


1 "I'm the biggest lady-killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson." [edit] Zero & Below

0 "I may not be the prettiest girl/most handsome guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you." -1 "I've already had sex with you five times, while you were sleeping. Want to make it six?"
Just keep it up, baby.
Added by Sylain



Yeah, you're getting there.
Added by Caiodnh


-2 "I'm like a Rubik's Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get." -3 "I am the force. Close your eyes and feel me flow through you." -4 "Hi. I'm insert name here. Want to know what the other one is called? -5 "Gee, this is one warm massage table. Oh, wait, it's you." -6 "I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?" -7 "If you were a woman, I'd so have sex with you." -8 "It's called "The Forbidden Kingdom" for a reason." -8.5 "I like my ladies the way i like my peanut butter... CHUNKY!" -9 "Are you a slave girl? Because you look like you should be." -10 "Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" -11 "Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)" -12 "Hi. You'll do my grandmother while eating dogfood, right? SCORE!!! " -13"I've got a knife - get your coat" -14 "I've got my beady eye set on you" -15 "Wanna have sex?" -16 "Would you find it quite spiffing if I inserted my genitalia into your genitalia?" -17 "Would you care for a drink? Oh wait I got to put my secret ingredient in." A smart girl would run, a blond would say, " Is it a fruit flavoring?" -18 "Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains 2 calories?" -19 "Was your dad a cement mixer. Because you are making me hard?" (polish accent) -20 "WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?" (angrily) -21 "Hey baby, wanna sharpen my pencil?"

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SOLD MY Z MARCH 2018 - another Core OG moves on - new ride 2019 Z Corvette Grand Sport - no mods necessary but already have eyes on HFC and intakes LOL IT NEVER ENDS.

vipor

"On a scale of 1 through 10, I'd give you a 9. And I'm the 1 you're missing."

__________________

2009 NISMO # 0193 | QAB | Albums! | 05.04.10 (Dynojet) 291.94hp/248.28tq
Oil Cooler (DIY) | Custom Headlights | GTSPEC Braces | F.I. Long Tube Headers

INTENSEPOWER

^^^ Holy cheeseness!

This is a real one that I actually heard one of our shop friends/customers use while we were at lunch the other day.

Friend: "Hey I see we have compatible parts... wanna go back to my pad and make babies?"

Girl: "You're cute.. hehehe"... then she turned and walked away.

At least he didn't get slapped. LMAO

vipor

Don't mention babies... ew.

__________________

2009 NISMO # 0193 | QAB | Albums! | 05.04.10 (Dynojet) 291.94hp/248.28tq
Oil Cooler (DIY) | Custom Headlights | GTSPEC Braces | F.I. Long Tube Headers

JollyGoodChap

suck me beautiful

antennahead

Her reply: "I could suck you till the end of time, but you'll never be beautiful"

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Time is a companion, who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment............ because it will never come again

JollyGoodChap

It was from the movie American pie. This is where punctuation comes into play.
"suck me, beautiful" is different than "suck me beautiful"

antennahead

I get it, that's why I made my joke, lack of a comma totally changes the meaning

__________________
Time is a companion, who goes with us on the journey, and reminds us to cherish every moment............ because it will never come again

JollyGoodChap

Well played sir, well played indeed

Zoren 370

Hey BIG guys out there would you like to share some of your best pick up lines?
I'm just not good at this....Haha

k20z3

"Is that a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them!"
"Is that **** on your boobs, because that was me..."

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Zoren 370

Haha...That was really hard to the point!

Anyway the other day I was in a Nissan dealership near my place checking out the 2013 Nissan GTR black edition with the tag of 107K. Man that car is really like.... you wanted to rob a bank and buy it.
Anyhow this nice female sales rep approach me and gladly assist me walk around the car and answer my questions,after about 20mins of exchanging ideas she pop the 107K question.
Well sir what would it take for you to buy this car?
I froze for about a minute like a cat just got my nuts.
Well I answered first I would rob a bank, next file for a divorce then go buy this car and have you for a lovely breakfast date.

She looked at me and gave me her calling card and gave me a wonderful smile!
Is that a positive response or negative???
Now I need to find a BANK to rob! haha Told you Im not good at this...

MacLean

I would have frozen too & been like WTF did she just say. If you were not married & you did have the money I bet she would let you hit it good & hard possibly.
+1........ If not married hopefully you would show her a lot more. Since you are married I would not waste your time not unless you want your a** kicked by your wife.

gsxr750

Best and most effective pick up line is " Hi " I'm ( ______) and then start talking, be sincere and real.

A lot more effectve than any B.S. "Down Town Tony Pickup Lines", that will just get laughed at by most women.

k20z3

umm I don't know how to read that, -- I would tread lightly if married. If not thats lame.

If you're not married, take her to breakfast and slip her the tongue in her beef taco supreme.

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