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Do you have a some Filipino in you? Would you like some? Guy: How about we go back to my place for some sex and pizza? Girl: *SLAP* Guy: Ouch,

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Old 11-13-2009, 11:24 PM   #106 (permalink)
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Do you have a some Filipino in you? Would you like some?

Guy: How about we go back to my place for some sex and pizza?
Girl: *SLAP*
Guy: Ouch, damn, what's wrong you don't like pizza??
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Old 11-13-2009, 11:37 PM   #107 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Saber Rider View Post
Do you have a some Filipino in you? Would you like some?

Guy: How about we go back to my place for some sex and pizza?
Girl: *SLAP*
Guy: Ouch, damn, what's wrong you don't like pizza??
Filipino line is great
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Old 11-14-2009, 06:47 AM   #108 (permalink)
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Mmm..mmm. Mmm
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Old 11-30-2009, 06:22 PM   #109 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Saber Rider View Post
Do you have a some Filipino in you? Would you like some??
the only problem is that you have to be philipino.

Here's 11$ drink up until I am really cute then come talk to me
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:15 PM   #110 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by antennahead View Post
What do a roll of toilet paper and the Starship Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons


...

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Old 11-30-2009, 07:47 PM   #111 (permalink)
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...

LOL, you know that post was actually in response to Frosts post:

Originally Posted by frost
I have to get an application to be an astronaut, because I suddenly want to explore Uranus.
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:48 PM   #112 (permalink)
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I know but you took it to all new levels of nerdiness
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Old 11-30-2009, 07:50 PM   #113 (permalink)
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I know but you took it to all new levels of nerdiness
Have you ever been around late at night when Frost and I and kdo are doing stupid sh!t? We can get REAL nerdy, and out there sometimes....... did you ever see the "butt plug" group of posts? Frost started that one about 10 days ago, and it became too funny
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:19 AM   #114 (permalink)
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Really frost and anntahead go crazy after dark.
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Old 12-01-2009, 02:34 AM   #115 (permalink)
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(walk past her repeatedly until she notices and starts asking you what you are doing or something like that) damn it can you Please pull your shirt up again it was just getting good.
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Old 10-16-2010, 04:18 PM   #116 (permalink)
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Default Worst Pickup Lines EVAR

108-101

108 I just jizzed in my pants 107 ...you'll do. 106 "Hey, baby, would you like to twiddle my chest hair?" 105 "Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink." 104 "Is it true you're a lesbian?" 103 "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK." 102 "You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies." 101 "McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized..." [edit] 100-91

100 "You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement." 99 "You need something to shut that big mouth of yours." 98 Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!" 97 "How much is the fish?" 96 "Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths." 95 "I want to bone you." 94 "Damn, you look good in beer goggles..." 93 "Have you ever seen a 2-incher?" 92 "You look like Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..." 91 "How much will a 20 get me?" [edit] 90-81


He's begging for it...
Added by Dexter111344


90 "Do you enjoy having sex with pitbulls, too?" 89 "My mom won't be home for hours..." 88 "And I thought I had a boner before!" 87 "May I play motorboat?" 86 "My favourite number's 69." 85 "Fancy a game of pin the **** in the arsehole?" 84 "Wanna play park the snake in the garage?" 83 "How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?" 82 "Don't make me rape you..." 81 "I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?" [edit] 80-71

80 "I've lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?"
So... What do you say? I'm a great driver.
Added by Dexter111344


79 "Wanna take a ride in my truck? It's a Ford... it's exotic." 78 "Damn you're ugly! Did you hit every branch on the ugly tree when you fell off and then climb back up for seconds?" 77 "I'm a man! You're a woman (I hope)! You do the math!" 76 "You don't sweat much for a fat chick."
Well?
Added by Roger The Bum


75 "If I tossed this quarter, what are the chances of me getting head?"

Added by Spintherism


74 "Wow, you look like Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?" 73 "Nice legs; what time do they open?" 72 "Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Iolanthe?" 71 "Hey baby, want to socialize your means of reproduction?" [edit] 61-70

70 (in a British accent) "I want to **** your bloody brains out." 69 (in an Australian accent) "I want to **** your bloody brains out." 68 "You must have fallen from Heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face." 67 "So what if you're on your period? A little blood never hurt nobody." 66 "Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, except down under..." 65 "I'm sine squared theta; you're cosine squared theta. Together we are one." 64 "Hey there, baby! I see you like sudoku... Well, you know, it's a long story, but I've got a sudoku puzzle tattooed on my abs... In braille! Wanna solve it?" 63 "Hey good lookin', wanna smell my finger?" 62 "Is that a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants." 61 "So, do have anySouth African in you? Would you like some/some more?" [edit] 60-51

60 "Ish heav'n mishing a angel? Cuz... cuz... is heav'n mishn a... mishn a angel... yeah cuz... **** it. C'mere suck my ****." 59 "The word of the day is legs. Let's go to your house and spread the word." 58 "That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too." 57 "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" 56 "Hello, and Welcome! You have reached (pause and different voice) **** Johnson (original voice) female service number. If you are interested in vanilla sex, press 1 now. If you are interested in oral sex, press 2 now. If you are interested in anal sex, press 3 now. If you are interested in group sex, press 4 now. To repeat these choices, press 9 now. If your fetish is not listed here, or you are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line and a customer service rep will be with you shortly. Thank you for calling the (pause and different voice) **** Johnson (original voice) female service number. (muzak starts playing)" 55 "Burger King isn't the only thing that is king-sized..." 54 "Are you from the Netherlands? Because you are one big dyke!" 53
“Steve Johnson thinks that you're really hot and that you should sleep with him.”
~ Oscar Wilde on that hot chick at the bar
52 "Hey baby, I've got AIDS." 51 "Mmmmmm.... flabwank." [edit] 50-41

50 "Nice shoes, let's ****." 49 "My shirt would look great on your bedroom floor." 48 "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock." 47 "I'm a pussy-fist... err, pacifist, that's what I meant." 46 "I promise I won't videotape you in your sleep and sell the video on the Internet more than once." 45 "IT'S A ******!!! What? I wasn't being racist. I was just imitating Michael Richards. He is SO funny! 44 "I'm going to have sex with you tonight, you might as well be there to enjoy it." 43 "Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!" 42 "So, how do you like 4th grade?"(this is also the ultimate question for The Answer to The Great Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.) 41 "You have a better body than my dead great-grandmother!" [edit] 40-31

40 "You know, pants are a vestigial organ. Yours look infected." 39 "I have a thing for amputees."
“I bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero.”~ Batman on pick-up line 31
Added by Monchito


38 "My favourite position is The Serial Killer." 37 "Get out of your life and into my bed!" 36 (Thick Arab accent) "Hello... My son likes you!" 35 "Please, I am needing wife to get green card, but Immigration is wanting, how you say, proof of consummation." 34 "I'm Batman." 33 "Dammit, I creamed my trousers again!" 32 "I have a rare tropical disease which will kill me unless I have sex within the next half hour." 31 "Bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero." [edit] 30-21

30 "You look just like a swan. You have skinny legs but a fat ***." 29 "Breathe if you're horny.Alright! score!" 28 "Secret Service, ma'am. I need to do a full body cavity search. National security, you know." 27 "Sorry, I thought this was the men's room. Still, while we're alone in here..."
This is where you start running.
Added by Dexter111344


26 (As loud and angry as you can say) "Hulk horny. Hulk ****!" 25 "The doctor's pretty sure the antibiotics worked this time." 24 "So what do ya say? Wanna love me? Or Raymond, like everybody else?" 23 "If I had a dime for every time I tried to pick up a chick, I'd still be poor." 22 "My friend use to hand out phone cards that said Smile if you're horny." 21 "You're hotter than my daughter." [edit] 20-11

Numbers 20 through 11 are too vile to put on this list.
[edit] 10-1


10 "Help me! I'm gay but I've been thinking I may actually be straight! Please have sex with me and remove any doubt from my head!"
Added by Frinko



9 "My magical watch says you don't know who I am..." 8 "You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?" 7 "I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle." 6 "I inserted the quarter, when does the fun start?" 5 "Last night, I practiced on your sister." 4 "Well... it's not going to suck itself." 3 "I'm an Uncyclopedia reader and contributor." 2 "I'm a Wikipedia reader and contributor."
Look out, bitch!
Added by BaylorBoy


1 "I'm the biggest lady-killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson." [edit] Zero & Below

0 "I may not be the prettiest girl/most handsome guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you." -1 "I've already had sex with you five times, while you were sleeping. Want to make it six?"
Just keep it up, baby.
Added by Sylain



Yeah, you're getting there.
Added by Caiodnh


-2 "I'm like a Rubik's Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get." -3 "I am the force. Close your eyes and feel me flow through you." -4 "Hi. I'm insert name here. Want to know what the other one is called? -5 "Gee, this is one warm massage table. Oh, wait, it's you." -6 "I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?" -7 "If you were a woman, I'd so have sex with you." -8 "It's called "The Forbidden Kingdom" for a reason." -8.5 "I like my ladies the way i like my peanut butter... CHUNKY!" -9 "Are you a slave girl? Because you look like you should be." -10 "Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" -11 "Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)" -12 "Hi. You'll do my grandmother while eating dogfood, right? SCORE!!! " -13"I've got a knife - get your coat" -14 "I've got my beady eye set on you" -15 "Wanna have sex?" -16 "Would you find it quite spiffing if I inserted my genitalia into your genitalia?" -17 "Would you care for a drink? Oh wait I got to put my secret ingredient in." A smart girl would run, a blond would say, " Is it a fruit flavoring?" -18 "Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains 2 calories?" -19 "Was your dad a cement mixer. Because you are making me hard?" (polish accent) -20 "WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?" (angrily) -21 "Hey baby, wanna sharpen my pencil?"
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Old 10-18-2010, 12:46 PM   #117 (permalink)
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"On a scale of 1 through 10, I'd give you a 9. And I'm the 1 you're missing."
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Old 10-20-2010, 12:42 PM   #118 (permalink)
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^^^ Holy cheeseness!

This is a real one that I actually heard one of our shop friends/customers use while we were at lunch the other day.

Friend: "Hey I see we have compatible parts... wanna go back to my pad and make babies?"

Girl: "You're cute.. hehehe"... then she turned and walked away.

At least he didn't get slapped. LMAO
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Old 10-20-2010, 01:30 PM   #119 (permalink)
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Don't mention babies... ew.
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Old 10-20-2010, 02:01 PM   #120 (permalink)
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suck me beautiful
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