The Legless Parrot

Mergnthwirker · 08-01-2009, 02:41 PM

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." So the guy buys the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

Trips · 08-02-2009, 03:42 PM

Funny! Lol

g96818 · 08-02-2009, 05:23 PM

haha

robin · 08-05-2009, 08:14 PM

Smart Parrot! very funny

i need to buy that one too..

Spec Jay · 08-05-2009, 09:17 PM

Excellent

Bozz 8 · 08-06-2009, 07:47 PM

LoL...

Need to look for this Parrot hehehe

370zproject · 08-24-2010, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mergnthwirker

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."

"Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"

"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird."

"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." So the guy buys the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."

"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.

"When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie."

"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?"

"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot.

"NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?"

"Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...."

Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"

"Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

fullmonty · 08-24-2010, 07:59 AM

Ahahahahaha Thats a good one

370zproject · 08-25-2010, 03:05 AM

very

INTENSEPOWER · 08-25-2010, 02:54 PM

Win!!!!!!!!

08-01-2009, 02:41 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mergnthwirker Base Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Connecticut USA Posts: 243 Drives: '09 370Z PW MT6 S Rep Power: 16	The Legless Parrot A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!" "I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird." "Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers." "Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand and speak English can't you?" "Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion." So the guy buys the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, "Psssssssssssst," and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman." "What are you talking about?" asks the guy. "When the postman delivered the mail today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie." "WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what happened?" "Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over," reported the parrot. "NO!" he exclaims. "And she let him?" "Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie! , got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over...." Then the frantic guy demands, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?" "Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"

08-02-2009, 03:42 PM	#2 (permalink)
Trips Administrator Join Date: May 2009 Location: Disneyland, Ca Posts: 8,730 Drives: 🔰 Rep Power: 10	Funny! Lol __________________

08-02-2009, 05:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
g96818 Track Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: A rock in a big pond Posts: 681 Drives: 2009 370Z, 2012 M56 Rep Power: 3394	haha __________________ CZP are lying thieves!

08-05-2009, 09:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
Spec Jay A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Bummerton Posts: 1,510 Drives: MtB 09 370z Rep Power: 19	Excellent __________________ 09 Monterey Blue Global Time Attack Street Class Build Build Thread:Saber! Instagram:@SpecJay

08-24-2010, 07:59 AM	#8 (permalink)
fullmonty A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Dirty Jersey Posts: 7,762 Drives: 370 Touring/Sport Rep Power: 34	Ahahahahaha Thats a good one __________________

08-05-2009, 08:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
robin Base Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: philippines Posts: 201 Drives: 04 Nissan 350Z CS M6 Rep Power: 16	Smart Parrot! very funny i need to buy that one too..

08-06-2009, 07:47 PM	#6 (permalink)
Bozz 8 Base Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Harbor city Posts: 2 Drives: 370Z Rep Power: 16	LoL... Need to look for this Parrot hehehe

08-25-2010, 03:05 AM	#9 (permalink)
370zproject A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Memphis Age: 35 Posts: 16,104 Drives: 09 A/T 370z blue Rep Power: 53	very __________________ Brake Upgrade Package ate blue, hawk hp ceramic pads, and slotted rotors

08-25-2010, 02:54 PM	#10 (permalink)
INTENSEPOWER Not a Sponsor Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Gilbert, AZ Posts: 1,292 Drives: 1000+hp Widebody G Rep Power: 254	Win!!!!!!!!

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