To the OP: I read your whole first post. My summary is this: Since your inlaws aren't really doing anything proactive about it, I think it's time for you to step in and do it. Whether you want them to know or not is up to you, but your BIL is a d-bag that needs to be taken out.
He needs to be punished instead of enabled, which is what your inlaws are doing for him. As long as he knows they will support him or cave in, he's going to continue to play that game and cause untold stress on you.
You and your family need to tackle the source of the stress, pure and simple. Cut him off completely to start off with, or document all his shenanigans and report what you can to the local authorities. If he steals, report it. If he lies, document it.
I know it's easy for me to type it, but I think your BIL is a waste of good air. People like him have no excuse to live in our society. Guys like him are worthless and are parasites to the rest of us.
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"Once you go Asian, you never go Caucasian." 
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