I actually read your story and I feel part of your pain. I say this because I have a cousin that is the same way. The only difference is that he has a gambling addiction and on top of that one of aunts is suspicious of him doing drugs too.
The thing is my aunt (my cousin's mom) is the same way as your MIL. Doesn't do anything to force him to change or do any good. When ever there is a bill that comes up like car insurance payments or car maintenance fees, he forces his mom to pay it all. All the money that he earns is basically wasted on gambling. When ever he tells his mom to pay it and she doesn't, he would threaten her and say that he will stop working and blah blah blah. I am not sure why she falls into his traps.
Honestly though, you can't do much other than be honest. If you know something just let your wife know. As for your BIL, he will always be the same till he loses EVERYTHING. this means going to prison for 5 years of his life over drug charges and realizing that getting butt raped again isn't the way he want it anymore.
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