108-101
108 I just jizzed in my pants 107 ...you'll do. 106 "Hey, baby, would you like to twiddle my chest hair?" 105 "Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink." 104 "Is it true you're a
lesbian?" 103 "If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK." 102 "You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies." 101 "
McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized..."
[edit] 100-91
100 "You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the
pavement." 99 "You need
something to shut that big mouth of yours." 98
Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first
abortion!" 97 "How much is the fish?" 96 "Your eyes are like limpid pools of primordial ooze, and I am the protozoa that wish to swim in their depths." 95 "I want to bone you." 94 "Damn, you look good in beer goggles..." 93 "Have you ever seen a 2-incher?" 92 "You look like
Carmen Electra's deformed, burned, dismembered sister..." 91 "How much will a 20 get me?"
[edit] 90-81
He's begging for it...
Added by
Dexter111344
90 "Do you enjoy having sex with
pitbulls, too?" 89 "My mom won't be home for hours..." 88 "And I thought I had a boner before!" 87 "May I play motorboat?" 86 "My favourite number's 69." 85 "Fancy a game of pin the **** in the arsehole?" 84 "Wanna play park the snake in the garage?" 83 "How do you like your eggs in the morning, scrambled or fertilized?" 82 "Don't make me
rape you..." 81 "I lost my
virginity! Can I have yours?"
[edit] 80-71
80 "I've lost my teddy bear! Can I sleep with you instead?"
So... What do you say? I'm a great driver.
Added by
Dexter111344
79 "Wanna take a ride in my truck? It's a
Ford... it's exotic." 78 "Damn you're ugly! Did you hit every branch on the
ugly tree when you fell off and then climb back up for seconds?" 77 "I'm a man! You're a woman
(I hope)! You do the math!" 76 "You don't sweat much for a
fat chick."
Well?
Added by
Roger The Bum
75 "If I tossed this quarter, what are the chances of me getting head?"
Added by
Spintherism
74 "Wow, you look like
Xena the Warrior Princess! Wanna date?" 73 "Nice legs; what time do they open?" 72 "Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Iolanthe?" 71 "Hey baby, want to socialize your means of
reproduction?"
[edit] 61-70
70
(in a British accent) "I want to **** your bloody brains out." 69
(in an Australian accent) "I want to **** your bloody brains out." 68 "You must have fallen from
Heaven. That would explain how you messed up your face." 67 "So what if you're on your period? A little blood never hurt nobody." 66 "Would you like to try an
Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, except down under..." 65 "I'm sine squared theta; you're cosine squared theta. Together we are one." 64 "Hey there, baby! I see you like
sudoku... Well, you know, it's a long story, but I've got a sudoku puzzle tattooed on my abs... In
braille! Wanna solve it?" 63 "Hey good lookin', wanna smell my finger?" 62 "Is that a
mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I can see myself in your pants." 61 "So, do have anySouth African in you? Would you like some/some more?"
[edit] 60-51
60 "Ish heav'n mishing a angel? Cuz... cuz... is heav'n mishn a... mishn a angel... yeah cuz... **** it. C'mere suck my ****."
59 "The word of the day is legs. Let's go to your house and spread the word." 58 "That shirt is very becoming on you. If I was on you, I'd be coming too." 57 "Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?" 56 "Hello, and Welcome! You have reached (pause and different voice) **** Johnson (original voice) female service number. If you are interested in vanilla sex, press 1 now. If you are interested in oral sex, press 2 now. If you are interested in anal sex, press 3 now. If you are interested in group sex, press 4 now. To repeat these choices, press 9 now. If your fetish is not listed here, or you are calling from a rotary phone, please stay on the line and a customer service rep will be with you shortly. Thank you for calling the (pause and different voice) **** Johnson (original voice) female service number. (muzak starts playing)" 55 "Burger King isn't the only thing that is king-sized..." 54 "Are you from the Netherlands? Because you are one big dyke!" 53“Steve Johnson thinks that you're really hot and that you should sleep with him.”
~ Oscar Wilde on that hot chick at the bar
52 "Hey baby, I've got AIDS." 51 "Mmmmmm.... flabwank." [edit] 50-41
50 "Nice shoes, let's ****." 49 "My shirt would look great on your bedroom floor." 48 "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bed rock." 47 "I'm a pussy-fist... err, pacifist, that's what I meant." 46 "I promise I won't videotape you in your sleep and sell the video on the Internet more than once." 45 "IT'S A ******!!! What? I wasn't being racist. I was just imitating Michael Richards. He is SO funny! 44 "I'm going to have sex with you tonight, you might as well be there to enjoy it." 43 "Hey pretty lady, I know Klingon, and tonight I'm going Klingon to you!" 42 "So, how do you like 4th grade?"(this is also the ultimate question for The Answer to The Great Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything.) 41 "You have a better body than my dead great-grandmother!" [edit] 40-31
40 "You know, pants are a vestigial organ. Yours look infected." 39 "I have a thing for amputees." 
“I bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero.”~ Batman on pick-up line 31
Added by Monchito
38 "My favourite position is The Serial Killer." 37 "Get out of your life and into my bed!" 36 (Thick Arab accent) "Hello... My son likes you!" 35 "Please, I am needing wife to get green card, but Immigration is wanting, how you say, proof of consummation." 34 "I'm Batman." 33 "Dammit, I creamed my trousers again!" 32 "I have a rare tropical disease which will kill me unless I have sex within the next half hour." 31 "Bet you 100 quid you can't turn me hetero." [edit] 30-21
30 "You look just like a swan. You have skinny legs but a fat ***." 29 "Breathe if you're horny.Alright! score!" 28 "Secret Service, ma'am. I need to do a full body cavity search. National security, you know." 27 "Sorry, I thought this was the men's room. Still, while we're alone in here..." 
This is where you start running.
Added by Dexter111344
26 (As loud and angry as you can say) "Hulk horny. Hulk ****!" 25 "The doctor's pretty sure the antibiotics worked this time." 24 "So what do ya say? Wanna love me? Or Raymond, like everybody else?" 23 "If I had a dime for every time I tried to pick up a chick, I'd still be poor." 22 "My friend use to hand out phone cards that said Smile if you're horny." 21 "You're hotter than my daughter." [edit] 20-11
Numbers 20 through 11 are too vile to put on this list.
[edit] 10-1
10 "Help me! I'm gay but I've been thinking I may actually be straight! Please have sex with me and remove any doubt from my head!"
Added by Frinko
9 "My magical watch says you don't know who I am..." 8 "You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?" 7 "I'll give you a nickel to tickle my pickle." 6 "I inserted the quarter, when does the fun start?" 5 "Last night, I practiced on your sister." 4 "Well... it's not going to suck itself." 3 "I'm an Uncyclopedia reader and contributor." 2 "I'm a Wikipedia reader and contributor." 
Look out, bitch!
Added by BaylorBoy
1 "I'm the biggest lady-killer in Buffalo since O.J. Simpson." [edit] Zero & Below
0 "I may not be the prettiest girl/most handsome guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you." -1 "I've already had sex with you five times, while you were sleeping. Want to make it six?" 
Just keep it up, baby.
Added by Sylain
Yeah, you're getting there.
Added by Caiodnh
-2 "I'm like a Rubik's Cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get." -3 "I am the force. Close your eyes and feel me flow through you." -4 "Hi. I'm insert name here. Want to know what the other one is called? -5 "Gee, this is one warm massage table. Oh, wait, it's you." -6 "I lost my keys. Can I check your pants?" -7 "If you were a woman, I'd so have sex with you." -8 "It's called "The Forbidden Kingdom" for a reason." -8.5 "I like my ladies the way i like my peanut butter... CHUNKY!" -9 "Are you a slave girl? Because you look like you should be." -10 "Are you free tonight or will it cost me?" -11 "Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)" -12 "Hi. You'll do my grandmother while eating dogfood, right? SCORE!!! " -13"I've got a knife - get your coat" -14 "I've got my beady eye set on you" -15 "Wanna have sex?" -16 "Would you find it quite spiffing if I inserted my genitalia into your genitalia?" -17 "Would you care for a drink? Oh wait I got to put my secret ingredient in." A smart girl would run, a blond would say, " Is it a fruit flavoring?" -18 "Did you know a teaspoon of sperm only contains 2 calories?" -19 "Was your dad a cement mixer. Because you are making me hard?" (polish accent) -20 "WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?" (angrily) -21 "Hey baby, wanna sharpen my pencil?"