Answering the various questions:
- The car is black. The poop is white (except the berries).
- The birds are at my workplace.
- There are thousands of them, of various species. Kill one, two would take its place. They've got a routine. First, they go poop on my driver-side door. Then, they spend the rest of the day attacking our office windows in an attempt to fend off intruders that look just like them.
- It has been suggested that we add "keeping the boss's car clean" to the Administrative Assistant's job description before we hire her.
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