An old, lonely, pathetic man goes on vacation. (no offense, togo
)
His plane crashes, but he manages to swim his way to a deserted island. After several weeks, he is walking along the beach one day and spots something glimmering in the distance, out on the water. As it grows closer and surfaces, it appears to be a gorgeous woman in a skin-tight wet suit.
She approaches with a wide smile and asks him, "When is the last time you had a proper cigar?" The old man replies, "It's been decades." The young woman unzips her suit slightly and pulls out a lighter and a fantastic cuban cigar.
He starts puffing at the cigar when she asks him, "When is the last time you had an ice-cold beer?" He says, "It's been years." She unzips her suit a little further and pulls him out an ice-cold beverage to enjoy with his smoke.
Then she approaches him very closely and zips her zipper nearly all the way down, and with a mischievous grin, she asks, "When's the last time you had some
real fun?" The old man replies, "Don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in that suit!"