Ok I can give you a little bit of guidance. I too had trouble getting the Axxess controls to work so I took it into a shop and worked with them to figure it all out. The Axxess wires hook into 2 wires on the oem harness NOT the aftermarket adapter. I made this same mistake but the wires didn't match up. Also, the axxess control unit needs a firmware update. This is a big part of making it work as well. You need a usb to 4 pin connector cable from axxess. The shop I was at just so happen to have that exact cable to do the firmware update. The upgrade was from v1.01 to v1.06. I'm not sure of the colors that need to be tapped into on the factory harness but I know that the colors that the axxess book says on the nissan harness are wrong. Also, when everything is wired in properly you'll have to manually program it for it to work.
I know this is pretty vague but I thought I might be able to give you a little bit of insight on the steering wheels wiring. I did most of the install on my dnx6960 and it works very well with the steering controls. The only thing that lags a little is the head unit, NOT the controls. If I'm playing songs from my nano it takes a little time for the head unit to read the album artwork onto the screen. Once it does that, if you press the seek button on the steering wheel it goes to the next song very quick but not if its still trying to retreive the album artwork.
So don't give up, its worth it to get it working. You may have to take it to an audio shop and have them get it going like I did. It was worth it to have them to do it. I would not have been able to get it working on my own, especially since I didn't have that cable.
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