Originally Posted by Togo

A girl walks into a bar in Texas , orders a beer and sits down at the bar where a Mexican and an Iraqi are also drinking beers.

The Mexican drinks his beer and suddenly throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, "In Mexico our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink from the same glass twice."

The Iraqi, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws his glass into the air, pulls out his AK-47 and shoots the glass to pieces.

He says, "In Iraq we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink out of the same glass twice either."

The Texas girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer and drinks it, throws her glass into the air, pulls out her gun, shoots the Mexican and the Iraqi, then catches her glass. She says, "In Texas we have so many illegal Mexicans and Arabs that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice".

Originally Posted by Togo

It was a few days after Thanksgiving vacation and the first grade teacher was having her students tell about their vacation.

The first little girl says, "We went to visit Nana."

The teacher corrected her, "We're big kids now, we don't say Nana, we say Grandma."

The next kid says, "We went to Na...er..Grandma's house and I got to play with a choo choo."

The teacher corrected him and said, "WE say train not choo choo."

And then it was Little Johnny's turn, "WE went to Nana....er...Grandma's house and she read me a book."

The teacher says, "That's very good Johnny, what was the name of the book?"

Little Johnny answers, "It was Winnie the... shit."