NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon fires entire pit crew
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
"NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon fires entire pit crew"
This announcement followed Gordon's decision to take advantage of President
Obama's proposal to employ gang youngsters. The decision to hire them was
brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths were
able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper
equipment, whereas Gordon's existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with
millions of dollars worth of high tech equipment. It was thought to be an
excellent and bold move by Gordon's management team as most races are won or
lost in the pits.
At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew
able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they
had also changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to
Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of
Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
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