Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen....
For today’s performance, our very own Spoilerini will attempt an astonishing and extremely dangerous high dive from nearly 3’ up in the air off of the top of the kitchen table into a small bowl of melted butter. He will do this while holding not one, not two, but
THREE pounds of bacon under each arm.
Please direct your attention to the center ring as Spoilerini scales up onto the launch table...
If appears as if he is ready....
We will need complete silence now....
(The lights dim, and a lone center spotlight is directed onto the tabletop where our Spoilerini stands looking over the edge and down towards the small bowl of melted butter...)
...DRUM ROLL PLEASE....
Spoilerini stands and prepares.... WAIT.... He is turning back around appears to be sitting back down in the middle of the table.... It looks like he is adjusting his bacon packs... Uh,... No it looks like something else is happening... Whoa... WTF..., he appears to be eating the bacon from under his arms...
Oh geez, he is climbing back down. The bacon is completely gone....
Now on the floor he is drinking the butter.... Damn...
I guess there will be no jump today...
(There will be no refunds for todays cancelled event, your tickets can be used for a future show...)