Things started off smoothly. I had nothing frozen up; my caliper bolts came loose easily, and my rotors required only moderate persuasion with a dead blow hammer. I was naturally suspicious (see picture of me looking suspicious).
Removing the axle nut was interesting only in that it requires a 32mm socket, which I did not have. My wife was very fortunately shopping for groceries near an Autozone, so a quick text message solved that problem (my hardware angel delivered swiftly).
You can see the deformed cap sitting on the axle nut. This was quick and easy to replace. Lubed up with fresh grease, maneuvered the new one in place, bent the cotter pin appropriately, done.
Edited: here's the link to the DIY.
FIXED: Rear axle click clunk noise