So a buddy of mine just sent me a text talking about an ex that I dated years ago and sparked a story that will go down in infamy for me.
About 7 years ago I was dating a girl who wanted to have a Halloween party. She invited whatever friends she had over and I made tons of food. One of her friends made apple cider moonshine. It burned blue when lit on fire. Tasted amazing and I still have a hole in my stomach from the alcohol volume.
Anyways, she lived on a farm and she only had one toilet. I get absolutely smashed from the moonshine. It's about 3 in the morning and wake up having to piss harder than a race horse. Problem is that I was still hammered and couldn't remember where the bathroom was. I distinctly remember hearing her cat using the litter box though. I stumble over to the kitty and pick it up. I proceed to pet the kitty while unleashing a torrent of built up moonshine into the litter box. This probably last a solid minute. I then go back to bed snuggling the cute kitty.
Queue it being around 7 in the morning. I wake up to hearing the cat literally HOWLING. The poor thing was pissed. I look over and see the litter box has turned into a cement brick. The cat was standing on it and the litter was legitimately hard. I walk over to the cat and begin to smell the blend of kitty litter mixed with apples and alcohol. I walk back out to my car, drive home and never saw my ex again. ^_^
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I AM FLOOF! SOMEBODY FLOOF MY HORN!! ALL HAIL THE FLOOF!!I JUST FLOOFED ON THE FLOOR
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