Ok back and sober now.
so when pin 86 and 85 (ground) get energized, pin 30 connects to 87. When its not energized, pin 30 stays connected to pin 87a.
Therefore the yellow wire is cut because when 86 pin gets 12v from the headlight or parking light, it will move pin 30 (connected to positive LED) to connect to pin 87 which is nothing and therefore will turn off.
There are various threads with various methods to do this but this is just another clean way in my opinion.
Here is the wires I tapped into on the harnesses on the relays. Sorry its upside down, just turn your monitor upside down.
Make sure to run a fuse from whatever power source you are tapping into, last thing you want is a fried wire. I used the mini blade fuse holder so it fits in the box.
So you should just have one wire coming out of the box which is the blue wire in this case from the relay. This blue wire will run 12v when the car is running and when the headlights or parking lights are turned on, it will stop sending 12v and therefore the LED's will turn off.
If you want them on all the time when the car is running, just take out the ground wire (pin 85) from the brown female relay harness and it will no longer energize the coil.
Hope that made sense, its a bit hard to explain at time. Once again, there is numerous ways to do this but this is my way with minimal wire running.
TIP! Always run a fuse for safety!
I will update later when I attach the LED's. Thanks for looking!