I'd love to see how quickly you drive if you had to deal with military ******** for 4 years. What exactly do you do anyways?
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Anyway, right after you are processed on your first day in the joint, it is a good idea to keester your papers and have a good story made up about why you are doing time. If the other inmates find out you are there because of your questionable driving skills it is not going to bode well for you. You will end up always a catcher, not a pitcher, if you catch my meaning.
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If I was actually going to jail, I'd already have been put there... You may be able to put a sentence together, you sure as hell can't use real world logic can you...