Originally Posted by Leingod

So work wants the random important people to fill out a little description of our roles and duties for work for new people since we are expanding. Here's what I've got so far

Welcome new employee.

Here in this office, I am the god amongst men. As your daily Networking and Security I.T. Specialist, I am here to assist your random needs of various computer issues.

My day starts at 8 a.m. every morning from whence I MUST have at least 3-5 cups of coffee before 11a.m. During these hours, expect little help to random jargon until i can process thoughts above a 5th grade level. From then on, I'll be happy to assist you in powering on/off your computer to fix 90% of your troubles.

Above all else, I can be easily bribed with home baked goods, energy drinks, and rolaids. Do these deeds and expect faster fixing results.

On the off chance I am not at my desk, please don't call me cell. I never have it on me and no... i am not giving you my other cell number. On the off chance I AM at my desk, don't hover behind me. That video game I am currently playing is of crucial learning experience for my job skills.

Yes, I can "hack" stuff. No I will not "hack" your sisters mothers aunts grandchilds ex's douchey little brat of a tweens Facebook. Yes, the sports car is mine. No, I don't have an inferiority complex.

Please submit any and all tickets to the appropriate box when needing something fixed, otherwise i'll just ignore it.

Sincerely,

Mike, the I.T. guy who debating if Taco Bell or Moes is better for lunch 3/5 days of work