Originally Posted by onzedge

OK -- I flew from XNA to MSP to SLC to SMF yesterday/last night. Leaving XNA, we were late. We landed at Gate A2 in MSP and my SLC flight was from Gate G9. I had 9 minutes to get there , so I humped across the airport. Mind you, I run for no one.

I get to A9 at 7:22 PM -- the flight was scheduled to depart at 7:20 and they had already closed the door. WTF???

I employed some colorful language with the gate agent -- I mean Jeesh, 2 minutes???? Really???? I thanked him for his skill at his job and within minutes, literally, there were 26 other passengers at the gate asking the same thing -- "What are you thinking?????"

Was it really too hard to look at the manifest and see the the 27 passengers missing from the flight were on other Delta flights that were delayed? By 7:30 there we were, 27 of us. Friggin' 10 minutes past scheduled departure... I am livid. Most of us were Diamond or Platinum -- not casual fliers.

As we were sorting things out I was imagining taking the gate agents silly friggin' Delta tie and pulling it tighter and tighter as he continued to say how much he apologized for our plight. Instead I smiled at him as he told me for the 15th time how sorry he was and I told him not to worry, I learned valuable skills in my anger management class -- skills that kept him healthy and me out of prison. He just looked at me with a smug "I am a badazz in my Delta vest and wings, but I have no idea what I am doing" look. So I extended my middle finger to him in order to express my delight in him and his work performance and my fellow travelers applauded.

Meanwhile, the pilot of our plane sees all the commotion at the gate as he is backing out, so he does the heroic thing and pulls the plane back to the gate. Slowly we all board, I lost my first class seat, some other clown is in my original seat so I told him he needs to move, I have to sit next to a hipster with painted toe-nails (yes a guy), and we left an hour late.

Now, my Salt Lake flight is in jeopardy.

We land in Salt Lake and when the door opened I had 10 minutes to get from C12 to D11. I hustled again and I am double-pizzed because, yet again, I am running against my will. I am on the moving walkway between D and C and there is a genius standing there with her roller bag on her side, blocking the way. I say excuse me as I am running toward her -- three times. Oh, she is texting I guess that's OK. FVCK. People make me crazy. Put your cell phones down, people!!!! You are not he only ones in this big giant public place with everyone in a hurry trying to get some where.

So she moves. But I paused as I passed her, turned around and then thanked her for paying attention and being a good citizen. Actually, my words were a little different.

I get to D11 just as they were trying to give my seat (1A) to someone in coach. I said "Not so fast, chumps".

I sat down, Put some Motorhead on my headphones, guzzled two bottles of water and took a nap.

There you go. You asked.