OK- so I grabbed a beer and that helped me think a bit more clearly. Comparing all of the paperwork I collected during this marathon I found that there are some conflicting details in the Axxess directions. I sorted them out and NOW EVERYTHING WORKS.
For those interested: one Axxess note says to reset the unit by holding the reset for 2-10 seconds to get to a fast blinking red LED. At 8 seconds my unit goes to a slow blink which is the manual program mode which I could not get to work. Holding the reset for only THREE seconds and then releasing it while the LED is dark puts the unit into the fast blink autoprogram mode. When I did this and then held down the up volume button, the programming went well but the unit would control the volume only.
Based on some suggestions I earlier had reversed the red/grey and blue/gray wires so I now reverted back to my original pairings and tried the autoprogram again ---- now EVERYTHING WORKS.
Hopefully this will help others avoid the time sink I ran into.
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