#1 - I wouldn't recommend using automatic car washes for a couple of reasons. First, you're likely going to get lots of swirl marks in your paint, and it will stick out on black paint like my Z! Second, the soaps tend to be harsh and will strip off your wax. Last, it just doesn't work as well as doing it by hand because of spots that are missed in hard to reach areas. Not to mention, the car wash won't be liable for anything bad that happens!
#2 - How often you wax your car will depend on a couple of things. The type of wax you used, environmental factors, as well as, how often you wash your car. If you use natural carnuba, which a lot of classic car enthusiasts like best for that warm look, it will need to be done monthly. If you use a synthetic wax, like Meguiar's NXT Generation 2.0, about every six months. I use a hybrid was, which is part natural, part synthetic and it lasts about six months (Blackfire BlackIce for black cars). You can usually tell when your wax is shot because the water won't sheet off very well any longer and dirt is harder to get off than usual.
#3 - No, you'll never strip off your wax if you use the correct soap. Dish Soap will strip your wax, which some people use on purpose if they're getting ready to re-wax the car. Specifically formulated car wash soap will not strip your wax because it's gentle.
#4 - Just spraying the car with water won't strip your wax. It's very important that you have a coat of wax on your car so that bird poop and other contaminants don't adhere to your paint. It also makes taking those off a lot easier. Usually squirting bird poop with an exterior detail spray works well for spot cleaning and wipe away with a soft micro-fiber towel.
It's very important that you prepare your paint surface properly before you wax. There are numerous videos available that go through various techniques. I like JunkMan's videos and I also enjoy the ones from Ammo NYC, who is a professional detailer that likes to share good information. Do a keyword search on both those terms on YouTube.
Proper washing and waxing of your car does require some serious attention to detail if you want to avoid damaging your paint. Through watching many of these videos, I've learned a lot of valuable information on how to keep the car looking it's best.
Hope this helps. but I've only barely scratched the surface (pun).
Also, read the Sticky posts at the top of this forum to get started as well.
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