BamBamZ

slitting wrist... Don't do it.

Putting everything out on a forum is usually a pretty bad idea... I've been in your situation twice before, I still think of my ex's and were still on good terms when we catch up, it's been 7 years with one of them but in order to see or talk to my ex without heartache, I had to cut all ties and contact for quite a while (2 years i think).

You need to find something to completely take your mind off it, You won't get your closure because no reason will be satisfying enough for you. She might have even told you and it just wasn't enough of a reason. Sometimes people will get bored or simply just want a change. It sucks for you if that's the case but it's a likely possibility... I know it sucks, I know you're bummed that she might be happy and you're miserable.

But as people have said before, There are many more women out there with all the qualities you liked in this one and then some. Stahp looking at it as "she was supposed to be my only one" or "i was supposed to be her only one", you were in a sense just a practice run... Don't fool yourself into believing she'll come back, get yourself to the point where if she actually does come back, that you don't want her back.

You'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand everything that goes on in her head... You see how things are between you two now. Leave it that way and do better than you were before. Focus on school and work, make a name for yourself.