Nissan 370Z Forum - View Single Post - Still think about my Ex-GF...

Jordo! · 03-13-2015, 03:24 AM

All of that -- for better or worse (and maybe a bit of both) -- is very, very normal. You will fall in love again (and possibly repeat this whole procedure...). But then another, and so on.

Eventually, people get a bit better at minimizing the part where you have to rinse and repeat. Not everyone get's it perfect (and probably no one does), but people do tend to get a bit better at it as they better learn who they are and who others are (inter- and intrapersonal intelligence, say).

However, it's rarely at your age.

You are in your 20's and so is she I'm guessing, so both of you are still a ways a way from having a good sense of who you are, where you are going in life, how to put yourself in another person's shoes, etc.

That may all sound cliche, but it is more true than not. And that is (although it might not seem that way at the moment) a good thing, because it means there is much to look forward to.

I would give her some space and live your life. Perhaps you two will get back, perhaps you will find someone you get along better with (and perhaps both... that happens too).

In the meantime, go easy on yourself and on her and on the lack of a good reason for things not working out. Unfortunately, there doesn't need to be a deeper bigger reason.

Looking for a "reason" will probably not comfort you because you won't like the answer you arrive at (no matter what it is or where blame is placed, or any blame at all is placed), and because you want to avoid trying to reverse engineer the theorized cause(s), which will more likely lead to ruminating glumly than feeling better and finding closure.

On the bright side, you have gone through this without a divorce and with many, many more opportunities (good and bad... life's a bit of a sine wave...) ahead of you.

Accept that as best you can, and continue to focus on moving forward rather than on what's left behind.

You cope by sighing, accepting, moving on, learning how to better manage your own emotions, balance your needs and wants with those of another, and ruminating as little as possible.

One foot in front of the other.

Support of friends (I don't know if we faceless Z forum folk count...) and keeping the promise of new romances in mind is probably the best bet.

Indeed, hang in there.

03-13-2015, 03:24 AM	#4 (permalink)
Jordo! A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2010 Location: nirvana Posts: 6,394 Drives: 2023 NATM Rep Power: 418	All of that -- for better or worse (and maybe a bit of both) -- is very, very normal. You will fall in love again (and possibly repeat this whole procedure...). But then another, and so on. Eventually, people get a bit better at minimizing the part where you have to rinse and repeat. Not everyone get's it perfect (and probably no one does), but people do tend to get a bit better at it as they better learn who they are and who others are (inter- and intrapersonal intelligence, say). However, it's rarely at your age. You are in your 20's and so is she I'm guessing, so both of you are still a ways a way from having a good sense of who you are, where you are going in life, how to put yourself in another person's shoes, etc. That may all sound cliche, but it is more true than not. And that is (although it might not seem that way at the moment) a good thing, because it means there is much to look forward to. I would give her some space and live your life. Perhaps you two will get back, perhaps you will find someone you get along better with (and perhaps both... that happens too). In the meantime, go easy on yourself and on her and on the lack of a good reason for things not working out. Unfortunately, there doesn't need to be a deeper bigger reason. Looking for a "reason" will probably not comfort you because you won't like the answer you arrive at (no matter what it is or where blame is placed, or any blame at all is placed), and because you want to avoid trying to reverse engineer the theorized cause(s), which will more likely lead to ruminating glumly than feeling better and finding closure. On the bright side, you have gone through this without a divorce and with many, many more opportunities (good and bad... life's a bit of a sine wave...) ahead of you. Accept that as best you can, and continue to focus on moving forward rather than on what's left behind. You cope by sighing, accepting, moving on, learning how to better manage your own emotions, balance your needs and wants with those of another, and ruminating as little as possible. One foot in front of the other. Support of friends (I don't know if we faceless Z forum folk count...) and keeping the promise of new romances in mind is probably the best bet. Indeed, hang in there. __________________ Enjoy it. Destroy it. Last edited by Jordo!; 03-13-2015 at 03:27 AM.