A letter to Lukas, Honey I know you'll be reading this as it's in your fav. site 370z that you spend your free time looking at car stuff.
TO MY LOVE, MY HONEY ...
I stop and think about all the memories we’ve made, the times we’ve shared and the love between us that keeps growing. You are not only my husband, but my best friend and soul mate. You are a blessing from above, one that I do not take for granted. I thank you for all the things that you’ve done for me and the boys. Not only are you a wonderful husband, you’re a terrific father. You give so freely to all those you know in such a loving way. Your generosity is inspiring! I love you honey more than life. I’m forever grateful for your love and proud to be your wife.
It feels different today than it did a week ago. I’m not sure how I feel the distance that has grown between us, the distance of weeks, and time …
I used to spend so much time wishing you were still living on this earth, still my husband, still a father for Kenneth and PoyPoy, still here to share a certain life we had made together. I wished that what had happened to you and to us had not happened. I was really very afraid. I am still afraid sometimes; I also know that I can’t live in a wishful state, wishing for something that will never be.
I’m sorry that you aren’t with me, the boys and everyone. I’m sorry that your story had to be a cancer one. I wish I can do more. I wish I can give you my life. I wish I could kiss you like the prince woke sleeping beauty that maybe my love could wake you from dead… like sleeping beauty.
I’m glad we chose one another from the moment we met. Thank you for choosing me. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for giving me your wonderful family. We didn’t finish our story with a satisfactory ending. I hated the ending of our story but the beginning was amazingly wonderful.
The tears do not come as frequent but you are always in my periphery. Always lingering in the steps I take and the breath I breathe. I see your face in a hundred different faces; in the distant roar of a motorcycle and 370z and in the coolness of a fall day, in the sweetness of apple pie and in the quiet of love, in innocent eyes and in honest answers. You remain. MY LOVE, MY HONEY ... My husband, and a father to Kenneth and PoyPoy.
Now since you’re gone sometimes I feel I can’t smile and play along, because the truth is, I’m tired. We'll see each other soon.
Love: Jennifer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVKMAJwW0ho