So I F-ed up and cut the harness for the multi-switch stalks out.
Whoops.
So Now I have to wire in replacement switchgear for the Headlights and Wipers. Because this car is so heavily CAN-bus-driven (compared to cars I've worked on in the past, though it holds not a candle to, say, a Benz) I was initially concerned that this would create a problem for me, but alas, it's super simple.
Attached below are sloppily annotated wiring diagrams.
Three position switches (I am thinking some boss looking rocker switches) will be used for both solutions.
For the wipers, it will be setup like this:
1) Off
2) Low Speed Circuit
3) High Speed Circuit
For the headlights, I want to try
1) Off
2) Low Beams (HID)
3) Low AND High Beams
I figure, if I am using the headlights at all, it's because I am on the track in the dark. If that's the case, and I feel the need for high beams, why not turn every stinkin light on that I can? It looks to me like they are individually fused, so I just need to be sure the supply to the battery (which is like 6 inches from the relays in question) is of sufficient gauge to handle the increased (almost doubled) current draw, and if not, replace it with heavier gauge.
Wipers:
Headlamps: