Tip No. 5:
Show up looking like you're serious—wearing slacks and a nice shirt or blouse—and show up in the car you plan to trade or in the nicest car you own. "There's this weird urban myth," says Brueger, "that if you look like a homeless person, I'll go easier on you when it comes time to negotiate. How does that make sense? For one thing, if you look like you can't afford a new car, I'm gonna require a lot more information before I toss you the keys. I'll still give you a test drive, it's just gonna take longer to get there. And I like having the collateral of seeing a nice, late-model car parked in front of the showroom while you're out testing my car. Whether you know it or not, every salesman has a kind of five-minute secret interrogation he conducts to qualify a guy for a drive. Me, the first thing I notice is his shoes and wristwatch. The second thing I notice is the address on his license. Veteran salesmen know almost every street in town, and they know the size of the houses on those streets. So don't pull the 'I'm just a poor slob' routine."
Tip No. 6: Do not have someone drop you off at a dealership and expect a test drive. Do not walk to a dealership and expect a test drive. Do not arrive with a spouse who doesn't want to ride along on the test drive—all three are tactics used by thieves who drive away cars forever.
Do not tell a salesman you want to take a test drive "to kill a little time before a movie." Do not tell a salesman, "This car isn't for me—I'm just testing it for someone else." Do not expect a test drive if you've had a beer at lunch and the salesman can smell it. If you're male, do not expect a test drive if you take along a male buddy. "Men try to impress each other," notes Brueger. "I once let two guys test a 7-series. They made it about two blocks before they rolled the thing in front of a nice restaurant."
Tip No. 7: If you go to the dealership with a spouse, decide beforehand who's going to test the car and who's going to conduct financial negotiations. It makes the salesman more comfortable—and saves time—if the driver and the negotiator are the same person.
Tip No. 8: If you're granted a drive and the salesman rides along, tell him what you're going to do before you do it. Say to him, "I'm gonna accelerate a little briskly from this light. Is that okay?" Tell him, "There's no one behind me, can I try a panic stop from 15 mph?"
Says BMW's Gilmour, "My rule of thumb is, as long as you warn me first, and as long as nothing you do attracts attention from other motorists, I'm cool with it."
"The real secret is to work up to speed," says Brueger. "Start out like you're my grandma and show me you're competent and careful. Then, by the end of the test, I'll let you do some pretty wild stuff."
"I was on a drive with a guy on a freeway," recalls Toyota's Gottfried, "and he deliberately missed two exits that I asked him politely to take. It scared me to death. I thought he was gonna kill me, then take the car. That's not uncommon, you know."
"One big thing for me," adds Gilmour, "is the difference between testing a car and abusing it. Speed doesn't bother me, but abuse does. Drive the car like it belongs to your wife. The second time you smoke the tires away from a light, I'm gonna say, 'Jeez, whoever buys this car, you just cost him 200 miles.'"
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We can do without any article of luxury we have never had; but once obtained, it is not in human nature to surrender it voluntary.
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