I have found that keeping the throttle position steady when shifting up or down has a huge impact on how smoothly the automatic reacts to your inputs. Don't approach slow turns in 7th gear or your going to have to wait a few seconds before you can be back in 2nd gear. Some of the issues sound like they are due to driving style and what I would call driver error.
When driving hard I listen to RPMs and feel how much pull I am getting out of the gear. I also try not to shift mid turn as there's enough torque to make you spin out especially if your throttle position is constantly moving. There are a lot of variables that the ECU has to keep track of so the more of them that you keep static while it's working out the shift logic then the better it will perform. Also, low rpm launches are wicked fast in the 7AT once you get the feel for it and keep traction throughout.
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